Where Do Babies Come From?

It all starts with one simple question from a child...



My four year old son came downstairs to go to the bathroom. As he was exiting the bathroom he looked over at his mother and myself and asked a very sweet & simple question, "Did you guys pick me?" We explained that in a way we did. We picked him and he grew in mommy's tummy. We reassured him we wouldn't have rather had any other child than him.

My brain then turned to thoughts of why he would have asked that question... the possibilities that he had spoken to an adopted child at daycare or even foster children, maybe something from a movie or TV. I didn't have long to ponder these thoughts. After standing there thinking for a moment he asked, "How do they get the baby out of the mommy's tummy?"

"The doctor helps." was what I thought would be a simple answer that would passify his youthful mind... as usual, I was wrong. "Does the doctor rip open the mommy's belly?" This question was posed with hand gestures that reminded me of a Romero zombie movie.


I'm a doctor, let me get that baby out of there!

"Sometimes the doctor has to perform surgury to get the baby out of the tummy, but not usually" My wife tried to explain to him. The look on his face showed he was still waiting for further details. So, as I started walking him back upstairs to bed, I tried to elaborate... With an obscure gesture of my hand indirectly referencing the groin area I stated, "Mommy's have special parts for the baby to come out of."

"So, the baby comes out of their penis?" A very logical deduction for a four year old to make given the information at his disposal.

"Mommys don't have a penis, they have special 'mommy parts' that the baby comes out of instead" I was figuring it was not over with that statement, but I didn't want to elaborate any furthere since I wasn't sure which way it would go from there and a wrong assumption on my part could lead me down a much more complex conversation.

"So, how do they pee?" Another logical question.

"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." Memories of Schwarzenegger in the movie Kindergarten Cop, which happens to have a bit role in it played by a great stand up comedian Bob Nelson, came to my mind. "girls pee with that."


I love that scene

We made it to the top of the stairs and to my surprise the next words out of his mouth were, "Ok, can I watch Batman?" Thank you caped crusaider!

Ok, I'm not ready for that conversation yet

I tucked him in, put in a Batman DVD and snuck back downstairs to where I new I would be safe from any conversation about sex... with my wife.

The Fort Is Done!

The boys & I accomplished building the fort. Well, my 7 year old, Damien, packed about six or so bricks and then decided to start stockpiling snowballs while my 3 year old, Jett, ran around in the snow and kept trying to "brush the fort" with a metal dog brush. I didn't realize, when I had children, that I would need to take some architecture & design classes so someday I had the knowledge to accomplish building a snow fort that did not collapse on itself repeatedly. After the second wall implosion I tried a tactic on the construction and that seemed to work.

The one time I stood still and took a moment to catch my breath, Damien asked me why I was stopping. This is coming from the same kid who spent more time inside "warming up" than he did out. He did, however, continue stockpiling a stash of snowballs to pelt his mother with for about twenty minutes after Jett & I had returned to the warm safety of the home interior for hot chocolate. Hot chocolate & sandwiches done, I am now posting pictures of our winter masterpiece for the world to gaze upon with envy.


The Santa wind sock makes for a useful distraction for an unknowing target


High defensive walls with an offensive throwing window will surely put the enemy at bay


With the north border protected by the lawn furniture, I built a short curved southern defense shield


Damien building his arsenal of snow grenades


Note the reinforced interior base


Jett's major contribution to the construction

Now to just wait for Mommie (That is how she likes to spell it. She also doesn't capitalize proper nouns... good luck getting into a good school boys.) to get home and pummel her relentlessly!