Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veteran's Day

I want to first take a moment to say thank you to all my fellow veterans and current service men & women out there! No matter what branch of the military (and this is one of the few times I will do this, normally I will throw in some branch specific humor here) you serve or used to serve under. I want to take the opportunity of this day to make sure you know that I appreciate all you do and have done every day of the year!!! Note- every time anyone wakes up in this great country of ours they are able to do so in part due to you, whether they want to recognize or appreciate that fact or not.



Speaking of appreciating our men & women in uniform:
I saw this Associated Press article picked up on the CBS website (what was I doing there?) today and had to share it...

(AP) MILWAUKEE (AP) - A Milwaukee Army reservist's military identification earned him some street cred Tuesday, when he says four men who mugged him at gunpoint returned his belongings and thanked him for his service after finding the ID.

The 21-year-old University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee student said he was walking home from work about 1:15 a.m. Tuesday when he was pulled into an alley and told to lay face down and with a gun to his neck. Four men took his wallet, $16, keys, his cell phone and even a PowerBar wrapper from his pants pockets, he said.

But the hostile tone quickly changed when one of the robbers, whom the reservist presumed was the leader, saw an Army ID in the wallet. The robber told the others to return the items and they put most of his belongings on the ground next to him, including the wrapper, the reservist said.

"The guy continued to say throughout the situation that he respects what I do and at one point he actually thanked me and he actually apologized," said the reservist, who asked not to be identified Tuesday because the robbers still had his keys.

The reservist said he asked the men, who all had hoods or hats covering their faces, if he could get up and they said he could before starting to walk away.

"The leader of the group actually walked back, gave me a quick fist bump, which was very strange," he said.


Talk about a military discount!

Now, I could go into how this was a very bad business decision on the gang members part, or how they obviously were not stealing out of necessity if they could so easily give the items and cash back. No, I want to discuss the more important and obvious issue here... What the flying rat fuck were they going to do with a PowerBar wrapper!?!?

For that matter what was the reservist going to do with it? I would think something since he actually had it on him at the time of the robbery.

I'm trying to envision a scenario where it would seem logical to have a PowerBar wrapper on your person, or most any wrapper for that matter. I mean, this guy didn't just find a golden ticket to grant him access to Wonka's fantasy chocolate factory & a lifetime supply of candy treats. Did he sneak the PowerBar as a worktime snack at his place of employ, obviously void of any trash recepticles, slipping the evidence of his fireable offense into his pants to avoid yet another trip to the human resources office? Is he working on wallpapering his apartment with wrappers to then video himself electric shocking his genetalia while eating a PowerBar in hopes of a prize winning submission on Break.com? Maybe his pockets were filled with different wrappers and the PowerBar wrapper just happened to be the one that was stolen... and if so why would they take the PowerBar wrapper over let's say a KitKat wrapper or a Fast Break wrapper? How many wrappers could he have had on him... 50... 100? What kind of wrapper whores are we letting into our military? I think this is a much larger concern than sexual orientation.

So, what is the going rate on the black market for a PowerBar wrapper anyway? How much drugs would the muggers get in trade for it? Am I missing something here? Maybe the wrapper tastes better than the actual PowerBar itself (that wouldn't take much. I had a pizza a few years ago that would have tasted better if I had ate the box and thrown out the actual pie). I think I may have an aneurism trying to figure this out.




Speaking of holidays, filmaker M. Moore is trying to get his latest movie out for release by December 25th. "Black Christmas" will be bashing Santa due to his discriminatory policy of leaving gifts for the nice boys & girls while leaving coal for the naughty. He shows how this is really a ploy by the oil companies and all those other evil people who work for a living and support the country and the U.S. economy.

I bet Moore could take "It's a Wonderful Life" and re-edit it so Mr. Potter was good big government and George Bailey was an evil freethinking personal property rights lobbyist and in the end the country was ruined due to George with the help of his corrupt right wing religious associate who was obviously more concerned with getting his own wings than anyone or anything else... Hell, I could re-edit it to do that. People need to realize that documentaries and other movies are presented, many times, with an agenda and what they portray are totaly subject to what the filmaker wants them to portray which is not always the truth & certainly hardly ever the whole truth.

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