My four year old son came downstairs to go to the bathroom. As he was exiting the bathroom he looked over at his mother and myself and asked a very sweet & simple question, "Did you guys pick me?" We explained that in a way we did. We picked him and he grew in mommy's tummy. We reassured him we wouldn't have rather had any other child than him.
My brain then turned to thoughts of why he would have asked that question... the possibilities that he had spoken to an adopted child at daycare or even foster children, maybe something from a movie or TV. I didn't have long to ponder these thoughts. After standing there thinking for a moment he asked, "How do they get the baby out of the mommy's tummy?"
"The doctor helps." was what I thought would be a simple answer that would passify his youthful mind... as usual, I was wrong. "Does the doctor rip open the mommy's belly?" This question was posed with hand gestures that reminded me of a Romero zombie movie.
I'm a doctor, let me get that baby out of there!
"Sometimes the doctor has to perform surgury to get the baby out of the tummy, but not usually" My wife tried to explain to him. The look on his face showed he was still waiting for further details. So, as I started walking him back upstairs to bed, I tried to elaborate... With an obscure gesture of my hand indirectly referencing the groin area I stated, "Mommy's have special parts for the baby to come out of."
"So, the baby comes out of their penis?" A very logical deduction for a four year old to make given the information at his disposal.
"Mommys don't have a penis, they have special 'mommy parts' that the baby comes out of instead" I was figuring it was not over with that statement, but I didn't want to elaborate any furthere since I wasn't sure which way it would go from there and a wrong assumption on my part could lead me down a much more complex conversation.
"So, how do they pee?" Another logical question.
"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." Memories of Schwarzenegger in the movie Kindergarten Cop, which happens to have a bit role in it played by a great stand up comedian Bob Nelson, came to my mind. "girls pee with that."
I love that scene
We made it to the top of the stairs and to my surprise the next words out of his mouth were, "Ok, can I watch Batman?" Thank you caped crusaider!
Ok, I'm not ready for that conversation yet
I tucked him in, put in a Batman DVD and snuck back downstairs to where I new I would be safe from any conversation about sex... with my wife.
Now that was cute and funny!
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