tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74668131994590928142024-02-02T18:06:10.450-06:00LoserWhiteGuy BlogOfficial web blog of comedian John Vorhees. Home of the wackjob's point of viewAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-48238128419657099922012-08-04T10:03:00.000-05:002012-08-04T10:03:18.055-05:00On the whole Chick-Fil-A thing...It really isn't about Chick-Fil-A at all, that has just become the catalyst for the culture war to jump into the light... This has got to happen in a natural progression. Just as other forms of bigotry have been defeated in the past, part of the process is it being pushed into the mainstream and no longer simply whispered about. We just live in an information overload age compaired to when we were talking of women's rights or the rights of blacks, for example. This event is basically drawing the lines out in public... showing who is supporting the freedoms & rights for all, and who is supporting restriction of rights & freedoms for some. As it was said so well the other day, "Thank you C.F.A. for pointing out who the bigots are".<br><br>
Everyone has the right to believe anything they want... but if your beliefs are bigoted (such as believing another person is "less than you", "second class", "undeserving of the same rights or privelages", "missing something", "of less morals", or in any other way "bad" based on sex, race, nationality, sexual orientation, or any other accident of birth), then they are deserving of criticism and certainly not of respect.<br><br>
I totally support the rights of Chick-Fil-A, and it's owners, to believe any way they wish and to run their business any way they wish. I also support the rights of their opponents to challenge, criticize, protest, and to opt not to spend their money there.<br><br>
Here is my favorite picture that I have seen on the subject<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQqCpA5lx-b5sF0015W9PN_UwxrIAlNK_IsBR0NpiKuDnWXMyJVecqmN9D7YyZ9CNb3G8OY4wBPOTreFvQFjR_CbGjpfJL1hrpaGDx54ui5nSfTSLyNkfezJsoyOfGTee5C-euf_k03Tc/s1600/578744_4330365454887_968000580_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQqCpA5lx-b5sF0015W9PN_UwxrIAlNK_IsBR0NpiKuDnWXMyJVecqmN9D7YyZ9CNb3G8OY4wBPOTreFvQFjR_CbGjpfJL1hrpaGDx54ui5nSfTSLyNkfezJsoyOfGTee5C-euf_k03Tc/s320/578744_4330365454887_968000580_n.jpg" /></a></div>
It is of a straight man, named Tim who fathers two boys in the "bible belt", who took his sons to the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/NationalSameSexKissDay">National Same Sex Kissing Day at Chick-Fil-A protest</a>. His caption was simple "Me and my boys! I want a better world for them." What I found great was that he was not only teaching his boys a lesson about equality, rights, and freedoms but he was also doing it to give them a better perspective about bullying! I think that point needs to be made since there are many people using bullying tactics trying to stop the free speech of those that would oppose them... Good job on you, Tim, for showing the world how to do parenting RIGHT!<br><br>
As far as my personal experience with the chicken place goes.... Some years back I tried Chick-Fil-A. I wasn't that impressed with the food... the waffle fries were "good". I noticed they were closed on Sundays and in doing my research to find out why I noticed that they not only position themselves as a fast food restaurant, but also a christian organization. I try not to support any religious organization with my money, so I didn't go back... the waffle fries weren't that "good". <br><br>
Bottom Line:<br><br>
If your religion supports, promotes, or appologizes for bigotry... I would suggest you take a good hard look at why you believe in such a religion.<br><br>
~John V.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-88175411593464077112012-05-31T18:20:00.000-05:002012-05-31T18:20:52.901-05:00Answer on atheist activismI post a lot of things on facebook. Some things are about my family, some are just for fun or to be funny and others are about religion (and my lack of it).<br />
<br />
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Things like this (that I shared from another's wall)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8sDmQu5lB0LlAOl6zRnFV-ZxQmD0IRHr-BrCfEZObiN23iUOzKwJTdXCXpbqb38oGbWUjonha25wYfQ8yPLrynh5xRlnat1PE6ltzAg6BUzlB9n9WyRSuKPkeJ-oYoY3HjxMrvO6br94/s1600/562281_113200735483903_100003819306303_76271_225386776_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8sDmQu5lB0LlAOl6zRnFV-ZxQmD0IRHr-BrCfEZObiN23iUOzKwJTdXCXpbqb38oGbWUjonha25wYfQ8yPLrynh5xRlnat1PE6ltzAg6BUzlB9n9WyRSuKPkeJ-oYoY3HjxMrvO6br94/s320/562281_113200735483903_100003819306303_76271_225386776_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<em><span style="color: cyan;">"If I am wrong and there is a Judeo/Christian god, the day of mydeath will truly be judgment day. I do hereby affirm that I will give him a fair chance to account for his deeds before I pass judgment upon him."</span></em></div>
<br />
<br />
This sparks a lot of good discussions. I don't really consider myself an activist (that term always tends to make me squirm a little bit), but I suppose I am by definition. I do hope that at some point at least one person feels a little bit less "alone" as an atheist by me opening my big flapping jaws. I tend not to get much for mean, angry, hateful, and vile comments (I know, just wait). I believe that most people are good, honest, and loving (religious or otherwise... religion does not hold the market on morality).<br />
<br />
Every once in a while I get a message or comment like the one I'm posting below. It is far from mean, but it does imply that they would like me to post less. To tell anyone to post less of anything is a little thing called an attempt at censorship and is an example of the bad form of discrimination. To threaten in any way (this person did not) if the request is not met is a threat of persecution. I actually consider what this person posted more of a question than anything... I look at it as if he is asking "why?" and that is the most important question there is. The question "why?" is the reason I left religion. <br />
<br />
I actually agree with two things this person wrote (I mentioned in my reply).<br />
<br />
I am posting this because it is likely to get lost amongst all the "atheist propoganda" I post on my facebook page (LOL) and I really would like feedback on my response. I am leaving names out, since they are totally unimportant to the issue, and I will refer to the person as "Theist A" (I would use "Theist Z", but I'm saving that one for a zombie).<br />
<br />
Theist A ~ <br />
"Ok we get it, you and G*d don't see eye to eye!<br /><br />But your fight is'nt with G*d, it's with the Church and the idiots who would use G*d's name to hide their own misdeeds.<br /><br />G*d exists, even if only as a figment of our imagination . . . but even that is infinately beyond anything we can understand or imagine . . . just as it is human arrogance to claim to speak on G*d's behalf, it is utter hubris to deny the existence of something that obviously created all that is, however it happened.<br /><br />They only thing that matters in the relationship between man and G*d, is the relationship between man and G*d."<br />
<br />
My Quick Response ~<br />
"<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">I agree with some of what you said & firmly disagree with some."</span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">My Full Response (Once I had time to sit at a computer) ~</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">"Ok, I finally have a couple minutes so I can reply:</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">No, obviously you don't "get it"... lol</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">It is not that any deity & I "don't see eye to eye", there would actually have to be a deity and there is no reason to believe there are any gods.</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">My argument is more with religion itself... the hate, bigotry, elitism, biases, persecution, death, immoralities, pain, and other bad crap it promotes and causes more than with religious people (unless they themselves do the same). The average person (religious or non-believer) is a good person. </span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">I agree that to believers their god(s) exist in their imagination... but that is not beyond what we can understand. A deity that exists outside of their imagination, as long as it has any connection/association with our physical world is also something that is not beyond what we can understand (or test, for that matter). A deity that has no connection or association with our physical world should be of nobody's concern because it may as well not exist, there would be no difference.</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">"it is utter hubris to deny the existence of something that obviously created all that is, however it happened" Where is the evidence for this claim you are making? I (and many others, including almost everyone in the scientific community... you know, the experts in that field) strongly disagree that there was "obviously" a creator.That implies a vast amount of evidence... more than just asking for some to even support anyone's belief in a creator. To say something of this magnatude about that is truly human arrogance.</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">I agree that the only thing that matters in the relationship between a person and their personal god(s) is just that... untill they bring someone else into it and impose their morality, restrict their rights, etc. That is simply wrong.Everyone has the right to believe whatever they want, as long as it doesn't restrict anyone elses rights, freedoms, or liberties.</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">All that said, atheist activism is basically the same as any other activism... it is really similar to gay activism since there are many many (you would be surprised how many & who) atheists who are afraid to "come out" due to the persecution they may (and often do) recieve. </span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Yes, I post things I agree with because I like it (just as many theists post woo on their walls all the time)... It is my wall and I can do whatever the fuck I want. If someone doesn't like it they don't have to look at it. They can ignore, block, delete, etc... that is their right. But I also post things to let others know that when they use logic, reason, and rational thinking they are not alone... Maybe, just maybe someone will "come out" and not feel trapped to hide who they are. When I finally broke the chains of religion I felt so free and relieved, the guilt for nothing was gone! Everyone should be allowed to freely express themselves and who they are, without reprocussions from people who disagree with them. I am not out to "convert" anyone. Actually, the only good thing that comes from debating with someone who has closed their mind and refuses to use skepticism is that there are others who will see/hear and that might help them. Cognitive Dissonance is a powerful thing."</span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">------------------------</span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Ok, doing this blog post I realized I did miss one very important key issue... I forgot to ask him who was this "we" he was speaking of in his first sentence.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">So let me know what you think... I thank you in advance.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">And because my blog posts get the most traffic for the horny (according to the search engines) here is a picture of Megan Fox:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0SNYM9PPQkIaDZ410pjTuGRKk0kijtvDwyvyouj8h6k4NfojmvylifprbSQeNSl9_-lym8wFtEoY0j6Sq0OYK4hBU6vMnj3KCR8tSzjCv3p2wuIPLsb5rt9XHV-RLVGFK9lOeI6upFY/s1600/shes-hot-demotivational-poster-1221269964.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0SNYM9PPQkIaDZ410pjTuGRKk0kijtvDwyvyouj8h6k4NfojmvylifprbSQeNSl9_-lym8wFtEoY0j6Sq0OYK4hBU6vMnj3KCR8tSzjCv3p2wuIPLsb5rt9XHV-RLVGFK9lOeI6upFY/s320/shes-hot-demotivational-poster-1221269964.jpg" width="361" /></a></div>
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Sooooo freakin' true!</div>
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">~John V.</span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-35110145582603801742012-05-15T21:46:00.000-05:002012-05-15T21:46:57.440-05:00New Logo, Does It Suck?I have been working on a basic logo for the new <a href="http://midwestcomedy.com/">MidwestComedy.com</a> website. Below is what I have thrown together so far. Please check them out and give me your feedback as to what you like and don't like. <br />
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The basic font I am pretty set on:<br />
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo0.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo0.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
To "flair" it up a bit I put it at an agle:<br />
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/angle.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/angle.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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That is "fine", but I just feel it needs a little something extra... so I tried a couple basic things:<br />
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo1.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo2.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/logo3.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/heartland.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.midwestcomedy.com/logos/heartland.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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The last one says "Funny" (in red) & "in the heartland" (in black)<br />
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Sorry for the low quality images. These are smaller version transparent .gif files so you will have to excuse the sloppy edging.<br />
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I want to keep the logo simple, and I am certainly NO graphic designer. I thought about using a laughing face or microphone, but those are soooooo overdone on comedy websites. Maybe I am best off without any added graphics... I'm not sure and that is why I am asking for help! <br />
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Please give me your imput, your comments & suggestions are greatly appreciated!<br />
<br />
From reviewing my site traffic I have noticed that a majority of search links were from images and the top search word was lesbian... so here is some hot lesbo action to increase the traffic to this post:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1kUvdAxCvQ5ezR9AmDiTBsTPL3Ve0tv6GZcnwvujOd5iDz0J5AWi4XpVo1-7_N1RTTr-NOIS68tIOptsW9RBLM7tVbdkEAQtMylAPqRi5yvt9A9yF2qGFtN7TIcZ6oX-3DScEbdQCEg/s1600/387831_218167208257859_208005522607361_484536_1228475143_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1kUvdAxCvQ5ezR9AmDiTBsTPL3Ve0tv6GZcnwvujOd5iDz0J5AWi4XpVo1-7_N1RTTr-NOIS68tIOptsW9RBLM7tVbdkEAQtMylAPqRi5yvt9A9yF2qGFtN7TIcZ6oX-3DScEbdQCEg/s320/387831_218167208257859_208005522607361_484536_1228475143_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
~ John V.<br />
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-66261915243186381892012-04-29T15:24:00.000-05:002012-04-29T15:24:10.589-05:00Online Social MediaHow many freakin' different online social media outlets should I be hooked up with???? Ugh, I try to be "everywhere" because you never know where an opportunity may come from... but it is hard to keep up. Below are a list of sources I use and the links to my "pages" (of course I'm sure I will forget at least one)<br>
<br>
Please let me know if you have any others to suggest<br>
<br>
<b>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">LoserWhiteGuy.com (My Website)</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.facebook.com/vorhees">Facebook</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.twitter.com/johnvorhees">Twitter</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/johnvorhees">YouTube</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/johnvorhees">Flickr</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.myspace.com/johnvorhees">MySpace</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.dogon13.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.break.com/vorhees13">Break.com</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.linkedin.com/pub/john-vorhees/14/99a/b5a">LinkedIn</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://www.foursquare.com/johnvorhees">FourSquare</a>
<br>
<br><a href="http://plus.google.com/101407842244984975630">Google+</a>
</b>
<br><br>
Any suggestions and/or ideas you have would be greatly appreciated... thanks<br>
<br>
~John V.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-57080102812317697452012-01-09T16:36:00.000-06:002012-01-09T16:36:29.496-06:00One more time... breaks help, lolWell that last test post didn't work for crap and I'm thinking this Bloggeroid app will only be useful for basic text posts. I'm tring this one using the online interface through the browser... if anyone knows of a good android tablet app to use with Google Blogger please let me know.
<br><br>
For the most part this post is a test and should be ignored... I am used to composing this blog using html & php, not Wiki syntax, so this post is an initial test of the formatting.
<br><br>
<H>Heading</H>
<br>
<h1>h1</h1>
<br>
<h2>h2</h2>
<br>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">http://www.loserwhiteguy.com</a>
<br>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">My Website</a>
<br>
<i>Italic</i>
<br>
<b>Bold</b>
<br>
<b><i>Italic and Bold</i></b>
<br><br>
Hopefully I will get this all figured out and at least some of this formattig will work correctly. I am writing this random useless nonesense to work on line spacing and paragraphs. Overall I like this blog posting app. It is fairly simple and straight forward, I am just not used to writing this way and it is on me to conform.
<br><br>
It hasn't "really" snowed here yet this winter. There was one dusting about a month ago, but it barely stuck to the grass and what little did stick had melted by noon. Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. I would be fine with it staying this unseasonably 40-50 degrees and sunny till spring!
<br>
I believe it was about 11 years ago we went through an entire winter without any mentionable snowfall. I can only dream about that happening to us again this season (especially since I still need to put two more new tires on my car), but I have a feeling we are going to get dumped on with snow in the next week or two (certainy before I get new tires... that is just how those things work).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-7105373734621841352012-01-09T16:21:00.001-06:002012-01-09T16:28:20.022-06:00Oooops, wrong slash :)Well that last test post didn't work for crap and I'm thinking this Bloggeroid app will only be useful for basic text posts. I'm tring this one using the online interface through the browser... if anyone knows of a good android tabket app to use with Google Blogger please let me know.
For the most part this post is a test and should be ignored... I am used to composing this blog using html & php, not Wiki syntax, so this post is an initial test of the formatting.
<H>Heading</H>
<h1>h1</h1>
<h2>h2</h2>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">http://www.loserwhiteguy.com</a>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">My Website</a>
<i>Italic</i>
<b>Bold</b>
<b><i>Italic and Bold</i></b>
Hopefully I will get this all figured out and at least some of this formattig will work correctly. I am writing this random useless nonesense to work on line spacing and paragraphs. Overall I like this blog posting app. It is fairly simple and straight forward, I am just not used to writing this way and it is on me to conform.
It hasn't "really" snowed here yet this winter. There was one dusting about a month ago, but it barely stuck to the grass and what little did stick had melted by noon. Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. I would be fine with it staying this unseasonably 40-50 degrees and sunny till spring!
I believe it was about 11 years ago we went through an entire winter without any mentionable snowfall. I can only dream about that happening to us again this season (especially since I still need to put two more new tires on my car), but I have a feeling we are going to get dumped on with snow in the next week or two (certainy before I get new tires... that is just how those things work).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-7819313279975351512012-01-09T16:12:00.002-06:002012-01-09T16:12:53.389-06:00Yet another test post... ugh!Well that last test post didn't work for crap and I'm thinking this Bloggeroid app will only be useful for basic text posts. I'm tring this one using the online interface through the browser... if anyone knows of a good android tabket app to use with Google Blogger please let me know.
For the most part this post is a test and should be ignored... I am used to composing this blog using html & php, not Wiki syntax, so this post is an initial test of the formatting.
<H>Heading<\H>
<h1>h1<\h1>
<h2>h2<\h2>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">http://www.loserwhiteguy.com<\a>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">My Website<\a>
<i>Italic<\i>
<b>Bold<\b>
<b><i>Italic and Bold<\i><\b>
Hopefully I will get this all figured out and at least some of this formattig will work correctly. I am writing this random useless nonesense to work on line spacing and paragraphs. Overall I like this blog posting app. It is fairly simple and straight forward, I am just not used to writing this way and it is on me to conform.
It hasn't "really" snowed here yet this winter. There was one dusting about a month ago, but it barely stuck to the grass and what little did stick had melted by noon. Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. I would be fine with it staying this unseasonably 40-50 degrees and sunny till spring!
I believe it was about 11 years ago we went through an entire winter without any mentionable snowfall. I can only dream about that happening to us again this season (especially since I still need to put two more new tires on my car), but I have a feeling we are going to get dumped on with snow in the next week or two (certainy before I get new tires... that is just how those things work).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-70056548856538754182012-01-09T16:02:00.001-06:002012-01-09T16:02:56.756-06:00Another test post<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>So obviously my last test was a failure and the Wiki syntax is not going to work. This time I am taking the same post and submitting it using good old html to see if that will work.<br/>
<br/>
For the most part this post is a test and should be ignored... I am used to composing this blog using html & php, not Wiki syntax, so this post is an initial test of the formatting.<br/>
<br/>
<H>Heading<\H><br/>
<br/>
<h1>h1<\h1><br/>
<br/>
<h2>h2<\h2><br/>
<br/>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">http://www.loserwhiteguy.com<\a><br/>
<br/>
<a href="http://www.loserwhiteguy.com">My Website<\a><br/>
<br/>
<i>Italic<\i><br/>
<br/>
<b>Bold<\b><br/>
<br/>
<b><i>Italic and Bold<\i><\b><br/>
<br/>
Hopefully I will get this all figured out and at least some of this formattig will work correctly. I am writing this random useless nonesense to work on line spacing and paragraphs. Overall I like this blog posting app. It is fairly simple and straight forward, I am just not used to writing this way and it is on me to conform.<br/>
<br/>
It hasn't "really" snowed here yet this winter. There was one dusting about a month ago, but it barely stuck to the grass and what little did stick had melted by noon. Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. I would be fine with it staying this unseasonably 40-50 degrees and sunny till spring!<br/>
<br/>
I believe it was about 11 years ago we went through an entire winter without any mentionable snowfall. I can only dream about that happening to us again this season (especially since I still need to put two more new tires on my car), but I have a feeling we are going to get dumped on with snow in the next week or two (certainy before I get new tires... that is just how those things work).<br/>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-6841697279451898182012-01-07T17:18:00.001-06:002012-01-07T17:18:56.107-06:00Test Post<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>For the most part this post is a test and should be ignored... I am used to composing this blog using html & php, not Wiki syntax, so this post is an initial test of the formatting.<br/>
<br/>
==Heading==<br/>
===level 2===<br/>
====level 3====<br/>
=====level 4=====<br/>
<br/>
[My Website http://www.loserwhiteguy.com]<br/>
[http://www.loserwhiteguy.com|My Website]<br/>
<br/>
# first thing<br/>
# second thing<br/>
# third thing<br/>
# fourth thing<br/>
<br/>
''Italic''<br/>
'''Bold'''<br/>
'''''Italic and Bold'''''<br/>
<b>bold</b><br/>
--strike--<br/>
<br/>
^^superscript^^ H^^2^^O<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Hopefully I will get this all figured out and at least some of this formattig will work correctly. I am writing this random useless nonesense to work on line spacing and paragraphs. Overall I like this blog posting app. It is fairly simple and straight forward, I am just not used to writing this way and it is on me to conform.<br/>
<br/>
It hasn't "really" snowed here yet this winter. There was one dusting about a month ago, but it barely stuck to the grass and what little did stick had melted by noon. Don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. I would be fine with it staying this unseasonably 40-50 degrees and sunny till spring!<br/>
<br/>
I believe it was about 11 years ago we went through an entire winter without any mentionable snowfall. I can only dream about that happening to us again this season (especially since I still need to put two more new tires on my car), but I have a feeling we are going to get dumped on with snow in the next week or two (certainy before I get new tires... that is just how those things work).<br/>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-67770083292491592272011-12-29T00:13:00.001-06:002011-12-29T00:13:47.826-06:00Tablets<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Ok, I 'm trying this blogger app for the tablet in hopes that it will lead to more (and more regular) posts out of myself. I am using this post as a test run. I am trying this without any real HTML code, so hopefully the spacing & line breaks are correct. If this works out I will be singing the praises of the Bloggeroid app :)<br/>
<p/><br/>
But this post is really supposed to be about tablets. Before the holiday season got to full swing a friend of mine posted to Facebook a question as to if they should get a Nook or a Kindle. My response to his question was "neither". My opinion was, and still is, that you would be better off getting an Android tablet.<br/>
<p/><br/>
Before anyone starts throwing an Apple _tizzy fit_... the iPad was not in consideration in this case. I personally like the iPad, but there are both pros & cons when compairing to an Android tablet and a big one is price point.<br/>
<p><br/>
</p><br/>
Back to the point, I can't suggest to someone that thet should spend as much, or more, on an Ereader or a dedicated tablet (such as the 7" Kindle Fire) when they could purchase a 10" Android tablet and download the free Nook and/or Kindle apps. You are not limited on service for Ebooks and you have a broader range of applications beyond an Ereader.<br/>
<p><br/>
</p><br/>
If anyone else has an opinion, please comment... especially if it differs from mine (maybe I will learn something!)<br/>
<p><br/>
</p><br/>
~John <br/>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-11469922695227295492010-03-26T19:31:00.000-05:002010-03-26T19:31:19.160-05:00Don't Try To Change My Mind???Recently I have seen a number of people, who consider themselves “freethinkers” and “open minded”, post statements on social networking sites to the effect of: <i>Don’t try to change my mind… I won’t listen.</i> Now, I expect this from certain people, especially ones of specif belief system... but not from these rational truth seekers.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/talktohand.jpg" width="300" height="300" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Talk to the hand!</i></b><br />
<br />
I have a problem with this. How can you be open minded if you don’t listen to what it is out there, including the ideas and opinions that go against what you currently believe or consider to be true? I have nothing against people trying to “sway” me. I also have no hesitation in trying to “sway” another person. I’m also a believer in freedom and freedom includes letting others be wrong, believe you are wrong and chastise you for it. <br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/monkey002.jpg" width="300" height="200" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Damn dirty apes</i></b><br />
<br />
On facebook I have seen people using the “threat” of blocking or de-friending people for trying to sway them or expressing their own contradictory opinion. (I use quotation marks on the word because it is no threat and offers no punishment. It is very presumptuous and arrogant of anyone to think their de-friending or blocking would be) I have never de-friended someone or even denied a friend request (I have blocked people, but only because they post in a language I can’t understand or they only post game update for games I care nothing about), at least not as of yet… There are some very valid reasons to do so. Now, I do respect and support everyone’s right to de-friend and block people for whatever reason they choose, it is their reasons that sadden me. To me it sort of takes away a main purpose of a public (no matter what anyone wants to believe – it’s on the Internet, it’s public) social networking site. I understand that not everyone uses these sites for the same purpose. Some people only use them to connect with family, some only friends and others only strippers & porn stars. I also understand that not everyone believes as I do on this matter, or at least this point. I am not at issue with those people and do understand (especially in the case of strippers & porn stars). I am talking about the ones that use the sites to promote their belief or position and then expect everyone on their friends list to either agree or at least keep quiet if they don’t. Some actually believe everyone, or at least anyone who is either sane or worth conversing with, are going to agree with them on every issue… and some people simply like living in an echo chamber and only want to hear the rattle of the head nods from the “yes men” who agree with them whether they are right or wrong. Anything worthy believing in should be able to handle scrutiny, right? If you have a problem discussing or debating your issue, maybe there is a problem with your issue. It's much easier to debate when you are correct ;)<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/nlsign.jpg" width="362" height="246" border="0"><br />
<br />
In order to truly have an open mind you must accept that you may be wrong. (that is a great quote, I wrote it) I actually enjoy having people who disagree with me on my friends list on facebook along with the conversations, debates and opportunities it offers… What if the person who is contradicting your position actually has evidence you were not aware of? What if you should change your mind? What if you are actually wrong? Even if everything you know of and have heard or read is evidence you are correct, what if there is something out there that you don’t know? Wouldn’t a truly open minded person want to know? On the other side of the coin… Maybe they will present an argument that you haven’t heard before. (not saying they even have to be correct, just that they are taking a new angle on things) This will do a few things. It will give you a chance to think and reaffirm you are correct, plus it will give you a preparation for the next time you hear the argument. Remember that when someone is trying to sway you to their side it is a perfect open opportunity to sway them to yours. Maybe you can be the one to enlighten them to a truth to which they were as of yet unaware.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/not-listening.jpg" width="293" height="410" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Is it wrong I find this picture hot?</i></b><br />
<br />
If you really believe something is important, wouldn’t you want people to know? Shouldn’t you want people to know? If you had evidence that if everyone ate an orange each day they would live longer healthier lives… wouldn’t you tell everyone to eat oranges? Wouldn’t you even buy oranges and give them to your friends or even hand them out to strangers to promote this?<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/orange.jpg" width="350" height="247" border="0"><br />
As long as you did it in moderation and didn’t get “pushy” about it, I think most people wouldn’t mind. They wouldn’t all agree with you and some would not take your advice (some wouldn’t even take your orange), some might even debate you on the subject, but all that is ok and even good. You would probably go through a lot of oranges before you had someone throw one back at you in a violent rage. Now, let’s change the word “orange” to a political or religious view… now we suddenly have people getting upset and even violent. You can almost hear the minds closing. Realize, no matter how absurd a claim or idea is… if the person believes it and especially if they believe it will benefit others it is fine, sometimes even noble, of them to share their information. I believe that includes prosthelytizing.<br />
<br />
I must stress the point that everything must be taken in moderation (yes, even bacon). We all need our “down time” and time to relax & recoup. Sometimes we do need to hear from just those who agree with us, if nothing else but to recharge. But, if all we ever do is listen to like minded people then we never give ourselves the opportunity to grow, advance & possibly become a better person, a person who is wiser and has a broader range.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/yoda.jpg" width="346" height="400" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Did you think I would do a post without a Star Wars reference?</i></b><br />
<br />
So, next time before you say, “My mind’s made up, don’t try to change it.” Take a moment and think about how you may be able to learn something or even educate someone else.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-28276430033290735782010-03-24T11:16:00.000-05:002010-03-24T11:16:23.469-05:00Where Do Babies Come From?It all starts with one simple question from a child...<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/birds.gif" width="292" height="292" border="0"><br />
<br />
My four year old son came downstairs to go to the bathroom. As he was exiting the bathroom he looked over at his mother and myself and asked a very sweet & simple question, "Did you guys pick me?" We explained that in a way we did. We picked him and he grew in mommy's tummy. We reassured him we wouldn't have rather had any other child than him.<br />
<br />
My brain then turned to thoughts of why he would have asked that question... the possibilities that he had spoken to an adopted child at daycare or even foster children, maybe something from a movie or TV. I didn't have long to ponder these thoughts. After standing there thinking for a moment he asked, "How do they get the baby out of the mommy's tummy?"<br />
<br />
"The doctor helps." was what I thought would be a simple answer that would passify his youthful mind... as usual, I was wrong. "Does the doctor rip open the mommy's belly?" This question was posed with hand gestures that reminded me of a Romero zombie movie.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/dead777.jpg" width="300" height="165" border="0"><br />
<b><i>I'm a doctor, let me get that baby out of there!</i></b><br />
<br />
"Sometimes the doctor has to perform surgury to get the baby out of the tummy, but not usually" My wife tried to explain to him. The look on his face showed he was still waiting for further details. So, as I started walking him back upstairs to bed, I tried to elaborate... With an obscure gesture of my hand indirectly referencing the groin area I stated, "Mommy's have special parts for the baby to come out of."<br />
<br />
"So, the baby comes out of their penis?" A very logical deduction for a four year old to make given the information at his disposal.<br />
<br />
"Mommys don't have a penis, they have special 'mommy parts' that the baby comes out of instead" I was figuring it was not over with that statement, but I didn't want to elaborate any furthere since I wasn't sure which way it would go from there and a wrong assumption on my part could lead me down a much more complex conversation.<br />
<br />
"So, how do they pee?" Another logical question.<br />
<br />
"Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." Memories of Schwarzenegger in the movie <i>Kindergarten Cop</i>, which happens to have a bit role in it played by a great stand up comedian Bob Nelson, came to my mind. "girls pee with that."<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/kc0012.jpg" width="250" height="250" border="0"><br />
<b><i>I love that scene</i></b><br />
<br />
We made it to the top of the stairs and to my surprise the next words out of his mouth were, "Ok, can I watch Batman?" Thank you caped crusaider!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/bm3.jpg" width="201" height="300" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Ok, I'm not ready for that conversation yet</i></b><br />
<br />
I tucked him in, put in a Batman DVD and snuck back downstairs to where I new I would be safe from any conversation about sex... with my wife.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-83627444345074024932010-01-08T23:32:00.000-06:002010-01-08T23:32:15.151-06:00Must See Horror Movie List<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/zombies.jpg" width="375" height="300" border="0"><br />
<br />
I have compiled a list of horror, and a few non-horror, movies that I believe every true fan of the genre should see. Following my "Must See" list is a short list of movies on my "Must Watch" list. This list came to be after my frustration with many "top" lists that people have put out over the years. I have not limited the number on this list or ranked them. This is more like a list to be checked off. <br />
<br />
If you think I have overlooked a movie, or movies, that should have made the list please leave a comment and tell me about it. It is possible I simply did miss it or maybe I haven't seen it yet (in which case I would add it to my "Must Watch" list, so please check it first). There is also the possibility that I just don't agree that it belongs on the list (i.e. you are full of shit). If you think I have put a movie on the list that doesn't belong there please leave a comment and tell me why. <br />
<br />
I know the first movie I will get crap for not putting on the list is <i>Suspiria</i> (1977). I did not include it because I do not deem it worthy. I saw the previews as a child and really wanted to see it. I never got the chance and time rolled on and my youthful mind, with an attention span of a flea, turned to other things. When I stumbled upon it in a video store back in the early 90s I was so excited to be able to finally view it. With much anticipation, and admittedly probably too much build up in my mind, I put the tape in my VCR. The great camera angles and artistic coloring could not overpower my boredom. "The Only Thing More Terrifying Than The Last 12 Minutes Of This Film Are The First 92", the movie's tagline, should have the word "terrifying" replaced with "boring". I didn't feel any build up of suspense and the ending was predictable. <br />
<br />
Without further delay, below is my list of Must See Horror Movies for the true horror movie fan:<br />
<br />
<b>28 Days Later</b> 2003<br />
A well done post zombie appocolypse movie that has a good pace. Be sure to watch the alternate scenes on the DVD.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/28dayslater.jpg" width="234" height="125" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>30 Days of Night</b> 2007<br />
Taking horror comic books to the big screen has been going on for many years. <i>Tales from the Crypt</i> (1972) is a fine example. This one was done with a stylish dark mood that is accentuated by the accents of the vampires.<br />
<br />
<b>The Abominable Dr. Phibes</b> 1971<br />
Vincent Price in one of his best roles. My favorite part is when he cooks up the man's prize pooches and feeds them to him. Once it has been made clear he is eating his own canines Price puts a funnel down his throat and shoves the rest in... priceless. If you enjoy this check out <i>Dr. Phibes Rises Again</i> (1972).<br />
<br />
<b>Alien</b> 1979<br />
This movie has been spoofed so much along the years if you haven't seen it you are truly missing out. There are some really good "jump outs" and some great creature effects.<br />
<br />
<b>Amazon Women on the Moon</b> 1987<br />
Ok, this is probably the furthest from a horror movie on my list. It does, however, have the best portrail of <i>The Invisible Man</i> I have ever seen. It is a must see movie full of campy and crazy comedy with parodies galore. David Allen Grier as Don "No Soul" Simmons cracks me up every time.<br />
<br />
<b>American Psycho</b> 2000<br />
Creepy in a clean upscale tightass yuppie sort of way. Chrisian Bale is brilliant in this.<br />
<br />
<b>An American Werewolf in London</b> 1981<br />
The first, and possibly still best, werewolf transformation in a movie. Humor is top notch and some good "jump outs".<br />
<br />
<b>Arachnophobia</b> 1990<br />
John Goodman is great in this creepy crawly movie.<br />
<br />
<b>Army of Darkness</b> 1992<br />
The third segment of the <i>Evil Dead</i> trilogy. The one that wraps it all up. They made it to stand on it's own as well as be more of a comedy than a horror film, and it is still great.<br />
<br />
<b>Attack of the Killer Tomatoes</b> 1978<br />
Campy & hilarious.<br />
<br />
<b>Audition</b> 1999<br />
I'm not a huge fan of Japanese horror films, but this one is really good. Strange and somewhat disturbing film.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/audition.jpg" width="200" height="133" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>Bad Taste</b> 1987<br />
Peter Jackson's second film and along with <i>Dead Alive</i> (1992) and even <i>The Frighteners</i> (1996) can show you what he is capable of without a super large budget like in <i>King Kong</i> (2005) or <i>The Lord of the Rings</i> (2001, 2002 & 2003) series (which were phenominal, by the way).<br />
<br />
<b>Beetle Juice</b> 1988<br />
The role that got Michael Keaton into the Batman suit. Tim Burton does a fantastic job with this hilarious not so creepy comedy. Keaton is flawless and how can you go wrong with Jeffrey Jones & Catherine O'Hara?<br />
<br />
<b>Ben</b> 1972<br />
The sequel to <i>Willard</i> (1971). It is the story of a boy and his rat. The ending, with the title song "Ben" being sung by a young Michael jackson, brought tears to my eyes as a child.<br />
<br />
<b>Blacula</b> 1972<br />
Of all the 70s "black" horror movie... if you only see one, I would recommend this one.<br />
<br />
<b>Blade</b> 1998<br />
Sword wielding half vampire straight out of the comic books. The effects are great and the movie is fun to watch & cool.<br />
<br />
<b>The Blair Witch Project</b> 1999<br />
To get the full effect of this film you must also look at the marketing that was done to promote it as real. Many people who entered the theatre were under the impression they were actually going to witness "real" footage that was discovered, that is untill they witnessed the acting & unrealistic behaviour of the characters. It still made my heart pound in my chest as I sat in a pitch black movie house, uncomfortable silence in the air, as I wished in my head they wouldn't open the tent. The beginning is kind of interesting and the ending is creepy. I did a comparison of this movie to <i>Paranormal Activity</i> in another blog post: <a href="http://loserwhiteguy.blogspot.com/2009/12/paranormal-activity-vs-blair-witch.html">Paranormal Activity VS The Blair Witch Project</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>The Blob</b> 1958 & 1988<br />
Both the original and the remake stand on their own and have their own redeeming qualities. The original is a classic with Steve McQueen. The remake is a well done, special effects treat.<br />
<br />
<b>Bloodbath at the House of Death</b> 1984<br />
I would love to put every movie that has Vincent Price in it on the list, but sadly I have to limit it. Price makes this movie.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/bloodbathhousedeath.jpg" width="250" height="136" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>Blood Freak</b> 1972<br />
This is one of those that you have to watch just so you can say you did. It is a pathetic attempt at a christian themed horror movie trying to "scare" people away from the sins of drugs and sex. The "sinner" grows a turkey head and drinks the blood of druggies to get his fix. It is pathetic, lame and a must see.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/bloodfreak.jpg" width="225" height="206" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>Bloodsucking Freaks</b> 1976<br />
Disgusting and sick... I'm talking lines like, "This one will make a good urinal." I'm talking pulling teeth, drilling into heads and blowing bubbles with a straw. You just have to suffer thru the pathetic story, if you can really call it a story, and piss poor acting.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/bloodsuckingfreak2.jpg" width="250" height="190" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Bram Stoker's Dracula</b> 1992<br />
There are sooooo many really good Dracula movies out there it was hard to pick. I decided on this version since I like it's style and version of the subject. You also can't really go wrong with any Dracula flick with Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing.<br />
<br />
<b>The Brood</b> 1979<br />
This is the true "hate baby" movie. There is a remake in the works & I'm very interested in checking that out.<br />
<br />
<b>Bubba Ho-tep</b> 2003<br />
Bruce Campbell as Elvis & Ossie Davis as JFK battleing an ass sucking cowboy mummy in a nursing home! Possibly the scariest part of this movie is that it is really good, seriously.<br />
<br />
<b>Bud Abbott & Lou Costello Meet Frankenstien</b> 1948<br />
I actually put this on the list instead of listing each of the individual originals: <i>Dracula</i> (1931), <i>Frankenstein</i> (1931) & <i>The Wolfman</i> (1941). Please do also check those films out if you have not done so. There is a remake of <i>The Wolfman</i> coming out this year staring Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins that looks quite promising. This classic comedy does an excellent job of mixing parody and classic horror without slaughtering the, already at the time of filming, classics.<br />
<br />
<b>Cabin Fever</b> 2002<br />
A different type of horror story. I like the angle on this one. It's like everyone and everything is the enemy. I'm a guy and the leg shaving scene is still brutal to watch. Hot chicks & gore... yummy.<br />
<br />
<b>Carnival of Souls</b> 1962<br />
Classic story. Not the best movie in the world, but certainly a good film. In it's day it was the shit.<br />
<br />
<b>Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town</b> 1989<br />
A Troma film (of course). The title really says it all.<br />
<br />
<b>C.H.U.D.</b> 1984<br />
I have this urge to compliment actors on their most obscure roles. If I ever meet John Goodman this is the film I will be telling him I "loved him in".<br />
<br />
<b>Cloverfield</b> 2008<br />
This is another one of those "found footage from a camcorder" movies, but with a budget and it actually looks like a movie. It is a "giant monster" movie that has a good angle, plus small monsters too. The subway scene in night vision is cool. The only thing that really irritated me with this film was while watching the special features someone (I can't remember who... producer, director, writer or someone along those lines) commented that they felt it was about time America had a giant monster. Don't they remember a little movie titled <i>King Kong</i> with various versions from 1933 to 2005? How about <i>Mighty Joe Young</i> (1949 & 1998)? I shook my head at that, but the movie itself made it to my list.<br />
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<b>The Collector</b> 2009<br />
I've heard a number of people say this movie had nothing new to offer. I found it quite interesting... much more interesting than the piece of crap <i>While She Was Out</i> (2008), it was the second feature at the drive in that night. <i>While She Was Out</i> is a pathetic attemp at a female revenge movie that actually made me want to see Kim Basinger get bludgened in the head. The writer/director's attempt at making her look like a victim at the beginning of the film failed miserably. She looked like a lazy upper-class woman who wanted to be portrayed as a victim. Her using her kids as security blankets to ensure their emotional trauma since she had nobody else to play her victim card to was abhorid to me and filled me with disgust. This was only topped by her stupidity a short while later in the film. I'm trying to hold back here, so bear with me. The movie basically made me sick (and not in the good way). So, it is possible that made <i>The Collector</i> a much better film in my mind. My only complaint with the movie is that it did a big "no no" in my book. The entire reason for him doing the theft, especially doing it that night, was to help his child. His child and his connection to the child of the family he is robbing is a crucial point of the film. But you are left hanging at the end. Now, I like a movie that leaves you hanging for a purpose or point, but this is one of those that simply did it either out of lack of caring, lack of funds or pure forgetfulness (or the assumed forgetfulness of the viewing audience). The worse case of this I have ever seen is was <i>The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy</i> (2005).<br />
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<b>Conan the Barbarian</b> 1982<br />
More of a fantasy tale than horror. This movie has Arnold in his prime and James Earl Jones changing into a snake.<br />
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<b>Creepshow</b> 1982<br />
Classic Stephen King and great performances by some of the greats. E.G. Marshall & Stephen King himself are big standouts.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/creepshow.jpg" width="203" height="136" border="0"><br />
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<b>Dawn of the Dead</b> 1979 & 2004<br />
The original is the classic that won over anyone who wasn't already won over by Romero's <i>Night of the Living Dead</i> (1968). I am a huge fan of Tom Savini and his special effects work. This is a must see for anyone remotely interested in the genre. The remake is a stellar work that grabs you right away and takes you for a ride. The zombies are fast in this one and I don't care. I appreciate both sides of the fast/slow zombie argument, but I'm all for having some movies with fast zombies and others with slow ones... variety is the spice of life. For the record, zombies aren't real and it is a pathetic debate to begin with. These are the visions of the writers, directors, producers & actors... If you try to manipulate or blind their vision you are then limiting art. (Wow, I almost sound profound there)<br />
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<b>Day of the Dead</b> 1985<br />
The third in the "of the Dead" Romero series. This one goes more into how zombies "think" than any other film I have seen. Yes, other movies get into their learning capacities and such, but this one goes into more the inner workings of the question "why" (my favorite question, by the way).<br />
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<b>Dead Alive</b> 1992<br />
"I kick ass for the lord!" is one of the best lines in horror movie history! This film is a bloodfest... walking into a room holding up a lawn mower to plow a path is something you don't get to see all too often.<br />
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<b>Dead & Breakfast</b> 2004<br />
Campy and fun film. The zombie dance number is great.<br />
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<b>The Dead Hate the Living</b> 2000<br />
I love seeing Matthew McGrory in films. This is not the best movie on my list, but certainly not the worst. It is a fun view.<br />
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<b>Dead Heat</b> 1988<br />
Zombie cops, Darren McGavin & Vincent Price.<br />
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<b>Dead Next Door</b> 1989<br />
Lots of blood and an interesting simple story. Low budget at one of it's finests.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/deadnextdoor.jpg" width="183" height="118" border="0"><br />
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<b>The Dead Pit</b> 1989<br />
A good evil Dr. back from the dead movie.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/deadpit.jpg" width="200" height="113" border="0"><br />
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<b>Dead Silence</b> 2007<br />
Creepy with very few CGI effects. There are some excellent "jump out" scenes and a great ending.<br />
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<b>Death Becomes Her</b> 1992<br />
Bruce Willis, Meryl Streep & Goldie Hawn are fantastic in this crazy comedy about eternal life. Wow, I wasn't sure if I would ever use the word "fantastic" to describe Meryl Streep, but there I did it.<br />
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<b>Dellamorte Dellamore</b> 1996<br />
Better known as <i>Cemetary Man</i>. This film has one of the best sex scenes ever. Clever concept and good dry humor.<br />
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<b>Demons</b> 1985<br />
Classic 80s horror flick.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/demons.jpg" width="260" height="140" border="0"><br />
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<b>The Dentist</b> 1996<br />
Corbin Bernsen is wonderful as the dentist who has his world callapse around him into madness after witnessing his wife with the pool boy.<br />
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<b>Devil's Rejects</b> 2005<br />
Rob Zombie's sequel to <i>House of 1000 Corpses</i>. It takes on a different angle than the first movie and even a different style. This is more of a 70s exploitation road movie with really disturbing subject matter and a few surprises.<br />
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<b>Diary of the Dead</b> 2007<br />
George Romero's take on the "footage discovered" from a camcorder. Done very well, of course, by the master himself. Students are making a zombie movie when they are thown into the zombie apocalypse. There is some really good imagery such as the "garden". The only thing I would criticise is that it may be a bit too "toned down".<br />
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<b>Disturbing Behaviour</b> 1998<br />
Similar to <i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i> or <i>The Puppet Masters</i>, this film follows a collection of students as they try to figure out and survive the "changes" going on at school.<br />
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<b>Dog Soldiers</b> 2002<br />
An interesting angle on a werewolf story. Some badass fighting too.<br />
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<b>Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde</b> 1931<br />
One of the great classics and the effects are great for 1931.<br />
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<b>Ed and His Dead Mother</b> 1993<br />
One of my all time favorites. Steve Buscemi is one of my favorite actors. He seems to always play a supporting role, and typically has the best lines in the film. In this movie Steve is the star, Ed, who really loves his mother. The best scene in the film is when the preacher comes into the hardwear store.<br />
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<b>The Entity</b> 1981<br />
The original "I was raped by an invisible demon" movie. <br />
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<b>The Evil Dead</b> 1983<br />
This movie is the one that put Sam Raimi & Bruce Campbell onto the scene. It is the lowest budget of the trilogy as well as the scariest.<br />
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<b>The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn</b> 1987<br />
This movie is the one that put Sam Raimi & Bruce Campbell on the map. It is the most well known, and liked, of the trilogy. Campbell recieved rave reviews for his acting skills and the movie got "Two Thumbs Up"!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/evildead2.jpg" width="225" height="177" border="0"><br />
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<b>The Exorcist</b> 1973<br />
You will never look at pea soup the same again. Watch the directors cut with the added scenes. It is a creepy movie.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/exorcists.jpg" width="230" height="144" border="0"><br />
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<b>Faces of Death</b> 1978<br />
A mostly fake documentary on death that is disturbing and sometimes downright hard to watch. This movie, <i>Silent Night, Deadly Night</i> (1984) & <i>Bloodsucking Freaks</i> (1976) were all "banned" in numerous places when I was a kid... which made them all must watch movies!<br />
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<b>Feast</b> 2006<br />
A <i>Project Green Light</i> film (see Matt Damon is good for something besides being Ben Affleck's bitch... oh wait, he is Affleck's bitch with this too). The only <i>Progect Green Light</i> episodes I ever watched were about making this film and I fell in love with the director's style immediately. This is a fun & funny horror romp full of blood that does some things differently than usual. I loved it.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/feast.jpg" width="200" height="153" border="0"><br />
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<b>Final Destination</b> 2000<br />
The first of the series and a well done film. There are some good moments of suspense in this.<br />
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<b>Flight of the Living Dead:Outbreak on a Plane</b> 2007<br />
Way too long of a title. A fun watch and new take on a zombie movie.<br />
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<b>The Fly</b> 1958 & 1986<br />
Both the original, with Vincent Price playing a supporting role, and the remake, with Jeff Goldblum, stand well on their own. They both have the same premise, yet go about the results of the failed experiment in different ways. The creature effects in the remake are awesome and gross.<br />
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<b>Food of the Gods</b> 1976<br />
Horror movies often reflect the times and especially the fears of the times. With this film that fear is projected as overgrown critters.<br />
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<b>The Fog</b> 1980<br />
Well made creepy tale of the dead coming back for vengance on a small coastal town.<br />
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<b>Freaked</b> 1993<br />
This is a stupid-funny movie with some hilarious creatures.<br />
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<b>Freaks</b> 1932<br />
Real side show "freaks" were used when making this film. It is kind of creepy to watch.<br />
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<b>Friday the 13th</b> 1980 & 2009<br />
Ok, with my last name being what it is, plus I was born on the 13th... good thing my parents named me John instead of Jason, I do have a fondness to this entire series. The original is a great slasher film (not the first, but one of the originals... done the way it should be). Even Kevin Bacon is in it, but what movie from the 80s wasn't he in? You should see the original before watching the remake. The remake is actually a remake of the first three films, giving only a few brief moments to part I. The section designed for part II plays like it's own mini-movie and is the best part of the film. The camera angles and certain shots in the remake way outshine the original.<br />
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<b>The Frighteners</b> 1996<br />
Great cast with Michael J. Fox, R. Lee Ermey, Dee Wallace, Jake Busey and even Mr. Re-Animator himself, Jeffrey Combs. Not a scary movie, but very well done and the humor fits.<br />
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<b>Fright Night</b> 1985<br />
A fun 80s film that doesn't take itself too seriously. Roddy McDowall is excellent as Peter Vincent.<br />
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<b>From Beyond</b> 1986<br />
Not as well recieved as <i>Re-Animator</i> (1985) but a worthy film just the same.<br />
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<b>From Dusk Till Dawn</b> 1996<br />
Not only are the special effects great and the acting really good, the witty banter is awesome and the lineup of actors is phenominal. George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino & Harvey Keitel are wonderful and really look like they are having a good time making the film.<br />
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<b>Ghost Rider</b> 2007<br />
One of the comic books turned movie I have added to my list. Some will say it doesn't belong on a horror list, I say it has the devil, demons, lost souls & a flaming motorcycle driving up the side of a building! Give me any crap and I'll use the penance stare on you.<br />
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<b>Grindhouse</b> 2007<br />
The double feature with fake trailers featuring the directing talents of: Robert Rodriguez <i>Planet Terror</i> (feature segment) & <i>Machete</i> (fake trailer segment), Quentin Tarantino <i>Death Proof</i> (feature segment), Eli Roth <i>Thanksgiving</i> (fake trailer segment), Edgar Wright <i>Don't</i> (fake trailer segment) & Rob Zombie <i>Werewolf Women of the S.S.</i> (fake trailer segment). It's like being at the drive inn back in the 70s!<br />
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<b>Guyver</b> 1991<br />
More of an action film, of sorts, it is fun to watch. <br />
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<b>Hell Night</b> 1981<br />
Classic 80s horror flick. Actually a pretty good one.<br />
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<b>Halloween</b> 1978 & 2007<br />
The original John Carpenter version is a classic. He is a master of setting you up for something to happen and it doesn't until you quit expecting it. The Rob Zombie remake goes steps beyond. It is more on the backstory and spends minimal time on the slasher segments.<br />
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<b>Halloween II</b> 1981<br />
The second in the original series. This movie can stand on it's own too.<br />
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<b>Hellraiser</b> 1987<br />
Clive Barker has a sick and twisted mind... one of the reasons he is my favorite author. It is based around sex & torture and done so very well.<br />
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<b>Hide and Creep</b> 2004<br />
Released the same year as <i>Shaun of the Dead</i> (2004)... not as good of a quality movie, but possibly just as many laughs. It has a similar "theme" as well. A great bonus is the short film, included on the DVD, that is what they made to "sell" the movie idea. The short is about as good, at least humor wise, as the feature.<br />
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<b>Highlander</b> 1986<br />
I don't care if I was compiling a list of documentaries on plant life, I would probably include this film since it is one of the best movies of all time and everyone should see it.<br />
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<b>The Hills Have Eyes</b> 2006<br />
It takes a lot for me to say that I had a hard time watching a movie. This movie is mentally and emotionally disturbing. If I were female I don't know how I would have handled this film. The stuff that happens inside the RV is stomache turning without being gory... it hits more on the emotional level.<br />
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<b>House of the Dead</b> 2003<br />
If you can find a way to remove the pathetically annoying video game clips inserted annoyingly throught this entire film this is a fairly good movie. It was one of the first, if not the first, "fast zombie" movies basing speed on how long deceased. There is a super long zombie blastfest and the lead acress is smokin' hot as she slays the living dead. Not much of a story, but that is fine considering it has more storyline than the first person shooter it is based on.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/houseofthedead.jpg" width="250" height="136" border="0"><br />
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<b>House of 1000 Corpses</b> 2003<br />
Rob Zombie's directorial debut. This rather artsy film brought back memories of more classic styles as I watched. Sid Haig is briliant as Captain Spaulding. Bill Moseley is a creepy Otis, Sheri Moon Zombie is awesome, and super friggin' hot, as Baby and I can't leave out Karen Black as Mother Firefly (a much better Mother Firefly than in <i>The Devil's Rejects</i> I must say). This movie became a classic in my mind the day I saw it (before it was released)... I only wish it actually had more blood & gore.<br />
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<b>The House of Wax</b> 1953<br />
Excellent classic Vincent Price film.<br />
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<b>House on Haunted Hill</b> 1999<br />
I love the stop motion sequences in this one. It has such a creepy effect. The story isn't much better than the original from 1959, but overall I prefer the remake.<br />
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<b>The Howling</b> 1980<br />
One of the creepiest/scariest werewolf transformations... plus werewolf sex! If you really like the werewolf sex see <i>Howling II</i> (1985).<br />
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<b>Humanoids From The Deep</b> 1980 & 1996<br />
I hesitate including the 1996 remake to this list. The original is a superior movie, but they both hold their place in horror history. If you like boobs and blood these are a must see!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/humanoidsdeep.jpg" width="260" height="175" border="0"><br />
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<b>Idle Hands</b> 1999<br />
Funny story about a slacker who not only doesn't realize there is a serial killer on the loose, he doesn't know it is him!<br />
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<b>I Drink Your Blood</b> 1971<br />
Rabid dog blood tainted meat pies... need I say more?<br />
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<b>The Incredible Melting Man</b> 1977<br />
An entertaining one with some cool effects for its day.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/incrediblemeltingman.jpg" width="256" height="192" border="0"><br />
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<b>The Incredible Shrinking Man</b> 1957<br />
This is another classic. Haven't you always wanted to fight off a spider with a needle?<br />
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<b>The Invasion</b> 2007<br />
Watching the wait staff vomit into the coffee decanters in order to "infect" the attendees of a meeting was something everyone should have to squirm thru watching. This is a remake/revisioning of <i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i> (1956 & 1978).<br />
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<b>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</b> 1956 & 1978<br />
Both the original and remake are great classics. They each have their own great scenes and unique twists on the story. Both are worthy of this list.<br />
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<b>I Spit on Your Grave</b> 1978<br />
This is more what <i>While She Was Out</i> (2008) should have been like... Did I already mention it was a total pile of tripe? Anyway, this is a true revenge movie. No guy will look at taking a bath with a woman the same way again.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/ispitonyourgrave.jpg" width="245" height="130" border="0"><br />
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<b>It's Alive</b> 1974<br />
The fear in this film is the dangers of medicines and drug companies... who cares? There is a fanged infant eating people in it and that is cool. The 2009 remake isn't awful, but let me recommend the original alone.<br />
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<b>Jaws</b> 1975<br />
Robert Shaw totally steals the show in this film. Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and even the mechanical shark are great in it. There are a couple of good "jump outs" and some real good creepy moments that may keep you on dry land for a while.<br />
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<b>Jeepers Creepers</b> 2001<br />
They totally mis-marketed this one on the theatrical release. The trailers portrayed it as a slasher movie and it drew slasher movie crowds (like my brother in law and his wife, at the time)... they hated it. The problem? It is not a slasher movie but a very well done monster movie. I saw it on video and loved it! You need to watch it at least twice to catch some of the "clues" earlier in the film... or, you can cheat and watch the special features that points them all out. There is no sex, or even nudity, in this one and I'm shocked to say that is ok. It is a story of a brother & sister and it at different times defies many of the "rules" to a horror movie. One of the things I really enjoy about this film is that it's different... plus I like films that don't have a happy ending.<br />
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<b>Jennifer's Body</b> 2009<br />
I was expecting to watch this movie simply to enjoy watching Megan Fox strut around for 102 minutes. Imagine my surprise when I actually enjoyed the film. I will be honest and say that without Megan Fox it wouldn't be as good... come one, who doesn't think she is smoking hot? There is no "real" nudity in the film, but the close up kissing scene between Amanda Syfried & Fox will have even those without a penis sporting wood! <br />
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<b>Killer Klowns from Outer Space</b> 1988<br />
I'm not a big fan of this movie, but each time I watch this film it grows on me a little more. <br />
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<b>Kingdom of the Spiders</b> 1977<br />
The ending of this film was bleak, especially to a child my age when I first saw it. A well done film all-in-all.<br />
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<b>Lake Placid</b> 1999<br />
A couple good "jump outs". Oliver Platt & Betty White make this movie.<br />
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<b>Land of the Dead</b> 2005<br />
Romero's 4th in the "of the Dead" series. This one the zombies do show signs of learing on their own. There are some great zombie characters in this one as well. I would love to take "Dead Reckoning" out for a spin.<br />
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<b>Last House on the Left</b> 1972<br />
The exploitation classic that gave us Wes Craven. See what these parents do when they realize the people who are at their house raped, disemboweled & killed their daughter and her friend.<br />
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<b>The Last Man on Earth</b> 1964<br />
One of my favorite Vincent Price films. It has been remade twice: <i>The Omega Man</i> (1971) & <i>I Am Legend</i> (2007). Price plays the last man alive, supposedly, who hasn't turned victim to a virus that rendered the rest of humanity a vampire. I thoroughly enjoy he daily quest for other survivors and supplies. It is kind of laughable that the only thing protecting him at night is cloves of garlic he hangs on the door and windows.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/lastmanonearth.gif" width="268" height="196" border="0"><br />
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<b>Luther the Geek</b> 1990<br />
Probably the main reason this movie is on the list is that if was filmed in Sterling, IL where I currently reside. Ok, a majority of the film was done at a house near Amboy, IL a few miles away... but the grocery store scene is the old Kroger building (It has moved across town and the building is now split up into different businesses including a Goodwill, Tanning Spa, etc.) that is across the street from my current office location.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/luthergeek.jpg" width="200" height="150" border="0"><br />
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<b>May</b> 1993<br />
I rather like her keep what is good and get rid of what isn't attitude.<br />
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<b>Michael Jackson's Thriller Music Video</b> 1983<br />
Everyone should watch the full length video at least once before they die. The zombies dancing in this one are even better than in <i>Dead and Breakfast</i>, but they don't sing (unless you count Michael). Wesley Snipes is one of the dancing zombies in this.<br />
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<b>The Mist</b> 2007<br />
This movie takes the Stephen King story one step further. It does a great job of showing some basic human nature and how easily people can turn and cults can rise, especially when faced with major stress. The ending is fantastic.<br />
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<b>The Monster Club</b> 1980<br />
Campy collection of stories that isn't as funny as it tries to be, which makes it even more funny.<br />
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<b>Motel Hell</b> 1980<br />
Rory Calhoun gives a stellar performance in this classic tale of old man meets young girl and swoons her while he kills everyone else to make is famous beef jerky. Nancy Parsons weilding a chainsaw and wearing a pig head is simply a bonus. I'm interested to see the 2010 remake this coming year.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/motelhell.jpg" width="240" height="143" border="0"><br />
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<b>My Boyfriend's Back</b> 1993<br />
A cute "high school comedy" with a zombie. No, it is not a funny horror movie... there is a difference.<br />
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<b>Nasferatu</b> 1922<br />
The only silent film on the list. It is creepy and very well done for 1922.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/nosferatu.jpg" width="238" height="151" border="0"><br />
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<b>Near Dark</b> 1986<br />
One of my favorite horror movies from the 80s (and it's about vampires, not zombies... go figure). It is fun and bloody and just very entertaining to watch.<br />
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<b>Night of the Comet</b> 1984<br />
There is a real good "jump out" in this one. It's kind of corny & campy, but it is a classic.<br />
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<b>Night of the Creeps</b> 1986<br />
It's like a college version of <i>Slither</i> (2006). Slugs go into the mouth and get into your brain (because we all know there is a direct route that way) turning you into a zombie.<br />
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<b>A Nightmare on Elm Street</b> 1984<br />
I was sitting in the theatre as a teen watching this movie scared out of my mind. This is by far the creepiest and scariest film of the few years surrounding it's release. Everybody's gotta sleep eventually, right? I'm looking forward to see what they do with the remake. I hear they are going the <i>Halloween</i> route and concentrating more on backstory.<br />
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<b>A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors</b> 1987<br />
Of all the others of the franchise, number three is the one to watch. With a title track by Dokken and some fun ways to die. This one put the series back on track since number two really didn't fit in, much like <i>Halloween 3</i> should have just had a different title since it had nothing to do with the rest of the films.<br />
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<b>Night of the Living Dead</b> 1968 & 1990<br />
The original George Romero classic that defined the future for zombies movies for a number of years. Many zombie flicks today still abide by the "rules" set in this masterpiece. The film is creepy and scary and you never know which way things will go. That said, bring in the Tom Savini remake and his take on the classic. Very similar with some key changes (including ending), add that to the amped up effects & gore (it is Tom Savini after all) and you have a movie that stands on its own side by side with the original on my list.<br />
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<b>The Omega Man</b> 1971<br />
Remake of <i>The Last Man on Earth</i> (1964). Charlton Heston holds up in his heavily fortified home (beats the crap out of garlic on the door) at night to protect himself from the albino like mutants. During the day he searches for supplies and other survivors. They aren't vampires, like in the 1964 version, but they are pissed that he is not one of them.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/omegaman.png" width="213" height="120" border="0"><br />
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<b>Paranormal Activity</b> 2007<br />
This film was the first, and possibly only to date, to use the internet to have people "vote it" to their town. A great marketing tactic that when matched with their bombardment on the networking sites got a big buzz going on for them. It is a really creepy movie and done very well. I was actually shocked at how good I found it. I did a review and comparison of it to <i>The Blair Witch Project</i> on an earlier blog: <a href="http://loserwhiteguy.blogspot.com/2009/12/paranormal-activity-vs-blair-witch.html">Paranormal Activity VS The Blair Witch Project</a>. <br />
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<b>The People Under the Stairs</b> 1991<br />
Not that scary and not masking the social reference, still fun to watch Everett McGill wear a full body bondage outfit and blast the crap out of his house.<br />
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<b>Phantasm</b> 1978<br />
Classic piece that launched a series of sequels, some good and others not.<br />
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<b>Pieces</b> 1982<br />
Not the best film, but I remember watching it when I was young and really thinking it was cool & different.<br />
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<b>Poltergeist</b> 1982<br />
Creepy paranormal classic that will have you wondering if Ronald McDonald is hiding under your bed.<br />
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<b>The Prestige</b> 2006<br />
Not of the horror genre, but it has David Bowie as Tesla and squashing songbirds is horrific enough for me. I like movies that, even tho this is somewhat predictable, has a lot of twists & turns.<br />
<br />
<b>Psycho</b> 1960<br />
Talk about mother issues... this is the ultimate momma's boy.<br />
<br />
<b>Puppet Master</b> 1989<br />
Any movie with a "leech woman" doll who kills by gagging up the blood suckers onto it's victims has to make this list.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/puppetmaster.jpg" width="250" height="139" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Race with the Devil</b> 1975<br />
Those darn satan worshippers are everywhere. <br />
<br />
<b>Re-Animator</b> 1985<br />
Jeffrey Combs in the role he will be forever known for/as. This movie version of the H.P. Lovecraft book is very well done and fun to watch. Yes, there is full body nudity.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/reanimator.jpg" width="225" height="152" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Resident Evil</b> 2002<br />
Does Milla Jovovich get naked in every move? This is one of the best video game to big screen movies there is... not counting super heros, I'm talking horror movies here. The dogs are awesome.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/residentevil.jpg" width="240" height="135" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Return of the Living Dead</b> 1985<br />
Davenport, IA girl Linnea Quigley as the naked punk chick named Trash. This is the first, and only, zombie movie where the creatures actually say the word "brains" and they say it a lot.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/returnlivingdead.jpg" width="203" height="135" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Return of the Living Dead III</b> 1993<br />
The franchise started taking itself more seriously with this one... and the chick is hot.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/returnlivingdeadthree2.jpg" width="250" height="176" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>The Ring</b> 2002<br />
The video segment is cool to watch... again with the breaking fingernails. The movie is creepy and the story is actually good. I love a movie where you actually have to try to figure something out.<br />
<br />
<b>Rocky Horror Picture Show</b> 1975<br />
This is best viewed at like a midnight showing where people get dressed up and go to dance on the stage in front of the screen. On it's own the only redeeming part is the "Time Warp" otherwise it is physically testing to endure.<br />
<br />
<b>Rosemary's Baby</b> 1968<br />
Is she carrying the spawn of satan or is she just nuts?<br />
<br />
<b>Sasquatch, the Legend of Bigfoot</b> 1977<br />
When I was a child the preview alone kept me from sitting next to a window for years! The movie is a classic and arguably the second best bigfoot movie, with <i>Harry and the Hendersons</i> (1987) being the all time best bigfoot movie. Supposedly based on actual accounts and using "real" bigfoot cries for sound effects, it is a creepy film.<br />
<br />
<b>Satan's Little Helper</b> 2004<br />
Great film for the Halloween season. Parents, be mindful of who your child chooses as a best friend.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/satanshelper.jpg" width="248" height="144" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Saw</b> 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009<br />
I fell in love with the first film because I didn't figure out the ending in advance. The first film isn't that bloody at all. They, to a degree, get more bloody with each new sequel, but it's not about blood. These films are good twisted stories that work on mental/emotional fears.<br />
<br />
<b>Scanners</b> 1981<br />
Who doesn't enjoy watching someone's head explode?<br />
<br />
<b>Scary Movie</b> 2000<br />
The only reason to suffer through watching the pathetic slasher films of the late 90s & the early part of the 2000s (i.e. <i>Scream</i>, <i>I Know What You Did...</i>, etc) is to get all the jokes, jabs & puns in this breakthru parody movie that opened the doors for a slew of other parody films. Most of the ones to follow don't come close, but if you enjoy this one check out <i>Scary Movie 2</i> (2001). If you don't enjoy this one check out <i>Scary Movie 3</i> (2003) & <i>Scary Movie 4</i> (2006). The job of director changed hands from Keenen Ivory Wayans to David Zucker, turning my feeling of "I'm almost too caucasion to watch this" to "I'm almost not white enough to watch this". If you want to step away from the horror genre for a moment watch <i>Not Another Teen Movie</i> (2001). It is a great spoof of High School movies from the John Hughes era thru the 90s, plus you get to see Jaime Pressly dance in a bra & panties and Mia Kirshner walk down a hall in a schoolgirl outfit (it's worth it!).<br />
<br />
<b>Scream</b> 1996<br />
The opening segment of this movie, with Drew Barrymore, is awesome. It is done well with suspense and terror. The angles and lighting are perfect and Drew does a fantastic job. Once that is over take the movie out and watch pretty much anything else. There is a good "boobies in a tight sweater" scene, but it is done even better in <i>Scary Movie</i> (2000).<br />
<br />
<b>Se7en</b> 1995<br />
Gory & sick yet clever and suspenseful. I only wish the audience had a chance to try and figure out the "who did it" part. There is one really good "jump out" scene and the overall imagery is brilliant.<br />
<br />
<b>Shaun of the Dead</b> 2004<br />
I tend to label movies either "Horror movies that are funny" or "Comedies that are scary"... This one broke the mold and became a "Horror movie that is also a Comedy". It is so hard to find that perfect balance, but this delivers. <br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/shaundead.jpg" width="200" height="150" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Signs</b> 2002<br />
There are some really tense scenes where you hesitate to look. This movie does an excellent job of taking you from a smile on your face to your hand covering your mouth.<br />
<br />
<b>Silent Night, Deadly Night</b> 1984<br />
The classic Santa Clause killer movie that was banned all over the place when I was young... Ok, I love how they use the term "banned" to promote films, yet I had no difficulty finding it at my local small town video rental store in the 80s.<br />
<br />
<b>The Sixth Sense</b> 1999<br />
This movie is captivating. You really start to feel for the characters and it gets you so wrapped up in it that you don't even think about trying to figure the whole thing out.<br />
<br />
<b>Slither</b> 2006<br />
Similar to <i>Night of the Creeps</i>, only with adults, less nudity, different story line and more creature effects... Ok, the only real similarity is that these alien slugs enter your body to turn you into zombies.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/slither.jpg" width="212" height="141" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Spawn</b> 1997<br />
John Leguizamo made this movie a must see. It isn't exactly considered by some to be a horror flick, but a monster demon clown is all I need to put it on this list.<br />
<br />
<b>Squirm</b> 1976<br />
Featured on <i>MST3K</i>, this is actually a pretty good movie.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/squirm.jpg" width="200" height="137" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Stir of Echoes</b> 1999<br />
This film was sadly overshadowed by <i>The Sixth Sense</i> in theatres. It is a well done creepy Kevin Bacon flick (good creepy, not like <i>Quicksilver</i> creepy). Watching fingernails break off always bothers me.<br />
<br />
<b>Street Trash</b> 1987<br />
Obnoxious and crude, this movie delivers some great effects and not much of a story.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/streettrash.jpg" width="200" height="137" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Swamp Thing</b> 1982<br />
The effects are way better than the story line on this one.<br />
<br />
<b>The Stuff</b> 1985<br />
A great B-Movie about this "stuff" that comes up from the ground and gets marketed as food. When people eat it they become addicted and turn into zombies for it... Oh yeah, and this "stuff" will eat you too.<br />
<br />
<b>Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight</b> 1995<br />
Some great acting, especially by Billy Zane, and a fun flick. The <i>Tales from the Crypt</i> people never fail to impress me.<br />
<br />
<b>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</b> 1974<br />
Horror from the 70s at it's finest. Not as bloody as you would imagine. Most people born after 1990 will prefer the reamake from 2003.<br />
<br />
<b>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II</b> 1986<br />
Arguably the best of the series. I love the openeing of this film. Bill Moseley does a fine job and, in my opinion, makes this movie great.<br />
<br />
<b>They Live</b> 1988<br />
this film is more science fiction than horror, but it is a good watch and has one of the longest fight scenes ever.<br />
<br />
<b>Thir13en Ghosts</b> 2001<br />
The best part of this movie is on the DVD special features. Watch the backstories to each of the ghosts.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/13ghosts.jpg" width="200" height="133" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>The Toxic Avenger</b> 1984<br />
Politiacally incorrect and I love it! Andree Maranda is super hot as the blind girlfriend. I heard that the part where the seeing eye dog gets shot had received the most complaints by Troma up to that time. Troma, Lloyd Kaufman's production company, has done such great films as: <i>Terror Firmer</i> (1999), <i>Class of Nuke 'Em High</i> (1986) & <i>Tromeo and Juliet</i> (1996).<br />
<br />
<b>Tremors</b> 1990<br />
Michael Gross is the true star of this movie.<br />
<br />
<b>Trick or Treat</b> 1986<br />
Ozzy Osbourne as an anti rock & roll preacher... plus Gene Simmons, how can you go wrong?<br />
<br />
<b>Trilogy of Terror</b> 1975<br />
Karen Black is a great horror actress. In this movie she plays four roles in three seperate stories. The third tale is the most memerable, with Black acting solo as she is terrorized in her apartment by an African Zuni fetish doll. The image of the sharp toothed African doll has been burnt into my brain to this day. <br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/trilogyterror.jpg" width="200" height="150" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Twilight Zone the Movie</b> 1983<br />
It has a bit of all the great things about the <i>Twilight Zone</i> television series. I even enjoy the Prologue with Dan Aykroyd & Albert Brooks (both excellent actors on their own). The film contains four stories. The first is an original about a Vietnam vet and is the one that was being filmed when they had the accident that killed the star, Vic Morrow, and some others. The other three are remakes of previous <i>Twilight Zone</i> episodes: "Kick the Can", "It's a Good Life" & "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet".<br />
<br />
<b>Two Thousand Maniacs</b> 1964<br />
A young group stumble upon a southern town that is throwing a party in their honor. <br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/2000maniacs.jpg" width="250" height="150" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>Undead</b> 2003<br />
A bunch of meteors turn the locals into zombies. A small group of survivors try to battle their way out of town. <br />
<br />
<b>Vampire Killers</b> 2009<br />
The original movie title "Lesbian Vampire Killers" is more fitting. I should mention lesbian vampires are even hotter than regular lesbians & female vampires put together! The best description I can give for this film is that it's the <i>Shaun of the Dead</i> of the vampire films, only with a more "naughty" sense of humor, nudity and... did I mention... lesbian vampires!!!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/lesbianvamp2.jpg" width="250" height="149" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>The Vault of Horror</b> 1973<br />
No horror movie list would be complete without at least one film featuring Terry-Thomas, plus I am a fan of all the horror movies with multiple segmented stories. This one contains five: <i>Midnight Mass</i>, <i>The Neat Job</i>, <i>This Trick'll Kill You</i>, <i>Bargain in Death</i> & <i>Drawn and Quartered</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>The Video Dead</b> 1987<br />
Zombies are coming out of the TV. Your best defense? Mirrors.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/videodead.jpg" width="250" height="180" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Videodrome</b> 1983<br />
This James Woods picture is interesting. Video straight to the brain and snuff shows... ahhhhh, America!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/videodrome.jpg" width="250" height="150" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>When a Stranger Calls</b> 1979<br />
Carol Kane is fantastic in this creepy film of a babysitter getting phone calls asking her, "Have you checked the children?" This is a good one to watch with all the lights when you are alone in the house... or at least "think" you are alone.<br />
<br />
<b>Willard</b> 1971<br />
Bruce Davison does a great job at playing the mamma's boy, Willard. Crispin Glove does a very good job in the 2003 remake, but I would only suggest it if you enjoy the original. Willard doesn't have any friends, except the rats.<br />
<br />
<b>Wrong Turn</b> 2003<br />
Inbred mutants who want to eat human flesh. Sounds like one of my ex's family.<br />
<br />
<b>X - The Man With the XRay Eyes</b> 1963<br />
I enjoyed this movie partially due to what was going on when I saww it. I was in a stressful situation and I just wrapped myself into it to forget what was just going on. I would like to see it remade, the ending was good for it's day and I would love to see what they could do with it today.<br />
<br />
<b>Zombi 2</b> 1979<br />
I've had splinters before, but not in the eye! This is the movie that was released and dubbed overseas as a sequel to the George Romero classic <i>Night of the Living Dead</i> (1968).<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/zombi.jpg" width="240" height="135" border="0"><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Zombie Strippers</b> 2008<br />
Robert Englund is funny in this story of undead exotic dancers. The Zombie strip off alone is worth making it on the list. The lack of acting skills on the part of most of the cast is made up for with nipples.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/horror/zombiestrippers2.jpg" width="250" height="225" border="0"><br />
<br />
<hr><br />
Below is my "To Watch" list. I am sure some belong on the list above, but I have to say, and sometimes to my embarrasment, I simply haven't seen them yet.<br />
<br />
<b>2001 Maniacs</b> 2004<br />
I have heard the original <i>Two Thousand Maniacs</i> is a better film, but this one is more gory.<br />
<br />
<b>Anguish</b> 1986<br />
<br />
<b>Brain Dead</b> 2007<br />
<br />
<b>Burial Ground: Nights of Terror</b> 1981<br />
<br />
<b>Cannibal Holocaust</b> 1979<br />
<br />
<b>Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things</b> 1973<br />
This, as well as a couple others on my "To Watch" list, is a movie I am sure I have seen a long time ago. Sadly I just can't remember so here it is... What really sucks is when I finally do watch a film again and realize the reason I didn't remember is that the movie was so bad I forced it from my mind. I do not believe that is the reason for my memory lapse pertaining to this classic film. <br />
<br />
<b>Dance of the Dead</b> 2008<br />
<br />
<b>Deadgirl</b> 2008<br />
<br />
<b>Dead of Night</b> 1999<br />
Original title <i>Lighthouse</i>. This is another one of those that I can't remember seeing, but I have a notion I may have at some point in time.<br />
<br />
<b>Dead Snow</b> 2009<br />
Supposed to be the best, of the three I can think of, Nazi zombie movies yet.<br />
<br />
<b>Feeding the Masses</b> 2004<br />
<br />
<b>Fido</b> 2006<br />
<br />
<b>The Granny</b> 1994<br />
I never rented this film because, frankly, the box cover made it look uninteresting. Not all that long ago I came across a review online that gave praises to Stella Stevens for her performance and foul mouthed quips. It got added to my "To Watch" list immediately following.<br />
<br />
<b>Horror</b> 2002<br />
<br />
<b>Last of the Living</b> 2008<br />
<br />
<b>Let Sleeping Corpses Lie</b> 1975<br />
<br />
<b>The Mad</b> 2006<br />
<br />
<b>The Manson Family</b> 1997-2003<br />
The date on this one is due to issues with the completion of the film. I believe I may have seen parts of this at one time, but will not be totally sure without viewing the film in it's entirety.<br />
<br />
<b>Seed</b> 2007<br />
<br />
<b>Shadow of the Vampire</b> 2000<br />
I have seen parts of this movie, but not the entire film from start to finish. It belongs in my list with Willem Dafoe playing Max Shreck as an actual vampire.<br />
<br />
<b>Survival of the Dead</b> 2009<br />
George Romero's latest that I haven't seen yet simply due to it not yet being released.<br />
<br />
<b>Teeth</b> 2007<br />
<br />
<b>Trick 'R Treat</b> 2007<br />
<br />
<b>Quarantine</b> 2008<br />
<br />
<b>The Wolfman</b> 2010<br />
Benicio Del Toro & Anthony Hopkins... looks very promising.<br />
<br />
<b>Zombies Anonymous</b> 2007<br />
<br />
<b>Zombieland</b> 2009Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-81794373048126312812009-12-29T18:15:00.001-06:002009-12-30T07:43:59.727-06:00Paranormal Activity VS The Blair Witch Project<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/paranormalactivity.jpg" width="144" height="210" border="0"><br />
<h2>VS</h2><img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/blairwitchposter.jpg" width="144" height="223" border="0"><br />
<br />
A big buzz that was going on about a month or so ago was if the new movie "Paranormal Activity" was as good as, or even better than, "The Blair Witch Project". With today being the release of P.A. on DVD, I imagine the debate will start right back up full force... So, being the attention whore I am, I decided to jump right on that bandwagon!<br />
<br />
I have been discussing with various people my intentions to watch P.A. and my attempt to do so with an open mind, trying not to let any preconcieved notions from things I have heard sway my opinion. When B.W. first came out they did a fabulous job of marketing, with missing posters<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/bwpromo1.jpg" width="199" height="300" border="0"><br />
and some web videos. They basically filmed another movie's worth of footage to promote the film and it's release. Well, times (and the Internet) have advanced and P.A. flooded the online communities and did a cool trick of having people "demand" the movie online. I believe the advanced tactics of P.A. created a bigger "buzz" for them, but B.W. did a more creative marketing campaigne and actually had people believing this was true footage that was found from missing documentary makers... That is, untill they saw the first scene of the movie.<br />
<br />
The acting in B.W. was not good at all. It at no time put me anywhere near the position of "believing" the characters or the situation they were in was anywhere near "real". If I was lost in the woods and kept circling back to the same spot, I would NOT be stopping every 5 minutes to discuss the situation! I would be walking in one direction at a quick pace knocking down everything in my way until I reached safety or collapsed!!! I also think, given their situation, they were far from realistic emotionally on how they handled their plight.<br />
<br />
Where I do give B.W. all it's points is in the fact that they did something new and different (a major reason I was concerned with P.A. since it basically is the same "style" of movie). They actually did a really good job pulling off what they were trying to do, especially when you add in all the "extra" stuff from their marketing arsenal. I did not find B.W. scary *This is where I have to take a moment and look at the word "scary". What one person deems scary another person thinks is stupid, silly or funny. Some people feel a "jump out" is scary, I do not. A jump out is startling and a movie scene that preps you for a jump out is suspenseful. B.W. did a TON of those scenes & did them very well! I remember being on the edge of my seat thinking to myself, "Don't open that tent... something's going to get you if you open that tent!" Sure enough they always opened the tent (they kind of have to, it's a horror movie)... yet nothing EVER happened. A lot of people were dissapointed with the fact that nothing really ever happens thru the entire movie (at least not onscreen). I say that is one of the great qualities of the film. It kept building you up for the jump out then dissapointing you (and sort of relieving you at the same time). This was an awesome tactic that was fun to experience... once.<br />
<br />
I considered B.W. to be more of a creepy movie. Especially the ending. You go to the house and you see the little handprints on the wall.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/bwcreepy1.jpg" width="200" height="150" border="0"><br />
Anyone who was paying any attention at the beginning of the film got it (I love it when a show doesn't play to the most ignorant viewer... They easily could have put in a line like, "OMG, handprints just like in the story that lady told us the other day" or something else that spoonfeeds the audience information they should have gotten themselves). If you didn't get it, you don't deserve to! Thank you B.W. for taking the high road on that one, since so many movies don't. I also found the standing in the corner very creepy as well.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/bwcreepy2.jpg" width="205" height="151" border="0"><br />
Again, no explanation needed & thank you for not giving one... in that scene a line of any sort would have ruined the entire film.<br />
<br />
I actually left the movie of B.W. with mixed feelings at the time. Immediately after viewing I felt a little robbed that nothing ever happened... other than me nearly having a heart attack when every time they went to open the tent (especially after the tent was being beaten on). The more I thought about it, the more I enjoyed it. I started to appreciate what they had done and actually really enjoyed it even more the next time I saw it. Before you get your panties in a bunch... yes, I did just mention the effect of the "in the tent" scenes and yes, I can see how that is "scary". I just feel overall the movie was more "creepy".<br />
<br />
The biggest complaint I hear about B.W. was the movement of the cameras. I know the person who saw it with me had issues with this, but it really didn't bother me at all. Of course, I didn't mind Jar Jar Binks in Episode I either.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/jarjar.jpg" width="203" height="224" border="0"><br />
<br />
I was happy in the fact that P.A. was not actually the same as B.W. in how it attempted to "scare" it's audience. I did have a feeling that P.A. was going to go down the same road of B.W. and not have anything really ever happen. I had heard nothing happens till like the last 5-10 minutes of the movie. I was all ready to announce that the only good thing of P.A. was the ending that Steven Spielberg actually refilmed for the theatrical release. Now, I will say that I saw all three ending to the film... The theatrical, the alternate & the original. I must say that the original is the weakest of the three and not a very good ending at all. The theatrical ending is the most "scary" creepy and the alternate is the most "disturbing" creepy. I'm torn on which one I like the best, they both have their redeeming qualities.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/paending_sit.jpg" width="216" height="150" border="0"><br />
<i>original "boring" ending</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/paending_walk.jpg" width="230" height="138" border="0"><br />
<i>from the better Spielberg theatrical ending...<br />
she looks hot in a tank top & short</i><br />
<br />
Again I am using the term "creepy" since I definately deem this movie in that category. It does set you up for many possible "jump outs" and it really never delivers on a single one (ok, at the very end with the theatrical version). It does, however deliver a lot more of "something" happening at various parts of the movie instead of simply "nothing".<br />
<br />
The acting is far better with P.A. as well as the script & directing. The banter and dialog were far more believable, as well as the characters actions & reactions with what was going on. I do wish she would have done the on camera strip tease he asked for, the movie was rated R after all. No, it was not the best acting in the world, but it was far superior to many movies I have seen with a much larger budget. The effects as well... so simple and low budget, yet they worked very well with the concept of the film. Bigger budget effects could easily have taken away from the "realism" (if I can actually call it that, it is a movie about a supernatural entity) of the film. <br />
<br />
I will say the beginning was slower than B.W. that had documentary footage about the Blair Witch at the start that gave a good backstory and was rather interesting with colorful characters being interviewed. P.A. was basically "Look, I got a camera and now I'm going to film everything since you say freaky things have been happening to you since you were 8". I'm not sure what they could, or should, have done differently... I don't think the slower start really hurt the movie at all.<br />
<br />
I mentioned above how I was expecting a whole lot of nothing. This movie could have easily turned out to be a 90 minute version of "Ghost Hunters" where something "might" happen, but never does (because ghosts aren't real, sorry).<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/ghost-hunters.jpg" width="200" height="150" border="0"><br />
If you watched the trailer for P.A. they would have you think it would have you shitting your pants from fear<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/paaudience1.jpg" width="325" height="168" border="0"><br />
<i>See, I think that one girl just dropped a turd!</i><br />
<br />
I was actually expecting something somewhere in between. After watching P.A. I really think the audience reaction shots in the trailer were mostly all from the last 5 minutes, but there were some times in the movie when there were sudden noises and banging sounds & growls (or whatever it was) that could make you jerk a little. The creepiest part of the film, in my view, was right before the 21st night (the last night) when she is laying in bed and decides that it would be better to stay than leave. She closed her eyes and the eeriest smile comes across her face for just a moment... That was creepy. I knew the Spielberg shit was about to hit the fan!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/pacreepy1.jpg" width="360" height="192" border="0"><br />
<i>This is right before the smile, you have to see it for yourself</i><br />
<br />
The movie did get me in a couple spots... I was right back where I was when I watch B.W. the first time. When the entry to the attic was open my mind started going, "don't you go up there! Ok, you can go, but don't you stick that friggin' camera up there... I don't wanna see!" Of course, he did (once again, it is a horror movie after all) and nothing happened. Surprise! I actually enjoyed it all over again. The key is that they didn't use the same tactic over and over as with B.W. They did multiple things to trick the viewer into thinking something was going to "get them" and I almost hate to admit it actually worked. <br />
<br />
B.W. preyed on people's fear of the woods, the dark, camping, isolation and being "trapped" inside a tent with who-knows-what outside. It is pretty easy to avoid camping (which I do). P.A. uses some other fears against it's viewer. The simple fear of the unkown & paranormal (another reason I didn't think I would find it "scary", tho I do enjoy shows with with superantural themes). P.A. can strike a chord with anyone since we all have to sleep and we like to think of our homes as a safe place, especially our bedrooms. It is down right creepy to think things are going on while you are sleeping (real or unreal). The thought of having someone break into your home is a scary notion. The idea of someone violating your bedroom and watching you while you sleep can keep people up at night. I think her saying how she could feel the breath against her was a great touch, as well as seeing her hair move when she said she felt like "it" was standing behind her. Those are the "somethings" I was refering to earlier. I think on average more people can get "creeped out" from watching P.A. over B.W. due to that alone.<br />
<br />
The biggest "unrealistic" aspect of the characters actions in P.A. was in the ending. After 21 days of grabbing the camera at every little noise they hear and sound his girlfriend utters, he leaves the camera on the tripod when she starts screaming bloody murder? Now I know this is supposed to be startling him and he does a kneejerk reaction, but they say it takes 21 days to form a habbit... that's all I'm saying.<br />
<br />
I was really expecting to be dissapointed watching P.A. to the point that the only reason I actually saw it was that I had already told so many people I would. I was expecting to be bored and unamused, certainly not entertained, until the ending. I really wasn't expecting all that much from the ending, either. I was truly all ready to say that B.W. wins by default since it was the "original".<br />
<br />
I was pleasantly surprised to find the move very entertaining! It moved along at a decent pace, was well filmed and had a progressive creepiness, similar to the good old days of monster movies when you didn't get to see shit untill like the last 5-10 minutes of the film. The acting was decent and you could tell things were wearing on them. Katie Featherston (who played "Katie") out acted Micah Sloat (who played "Micah), she showed a good transition of being disturbed thru the film. (I must also note that it is a great idea for characters to use their real names, especially with movies that are low budget and they don't have a lot of experience. It is easier to remember cues & lines and wastes less film)<br />
<br />
I still think everyone should see B.W. for the experience, but overall I believe P.A. was a superior movie. It was made better and had more substance. And yes, there is very little camera shake... he used a tripod for a lot of the film. If you actually believe in the "boogie man" then this flick may seriously scare you. This would certainly make a good date movie... and you would not likely have to deal with "I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep" that night ;)<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/paranormalactivity2.jpg" width="300" height="300" border="0"><br />
<i>Paranormal Activity Wins!</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-83329205152264099452009-12-09T14:19:00.001-06:002009-12-09T14:21:55.414-06:00The Fort Is Done!The boys & I accomplished building the fort. Well, my 7 year old, Damien, packed about six or so bricks and then decided to start stockpiling snowballs while my 3 year old, Jett, ran around in the snow and kept trying to "brush the fort" with a metal dog brush. I didn't realize, when I had children, that I would need to take some architecture & design classes so someday I had the knowledge to accomplish building a snow fort that did not collapse on itself repeatedly. After the second wall implosion I tried a tactic on the construction and that seemed to work.<br />
<br />
The one time I stood still and took a moment to catch my breath, Damien asked me why I was stopping. This is coming from the same kid who spent more time inside "warming up" than he did out. He did, however, continue stockpiling a stash of snowballs to pelt his mother with for about twenty minutes after Jett & I had returned to the warm safety of the home interior for hot chocolate. Hot chocolate & sandwiches done, I am now posting pictures of our winter masterpiece for the world to gaze upon with envy.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00181-20091209-1232.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>The Santa wind sock makes for a useful distraction for an unknowing target</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00182-20091209-1232.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>High defensive walls with an offensive throwing window will surely put the enemy at bay</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00183-20091209-1232.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>With the north border protected by the lawn furniture, I built a short curved southern defense shield</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00184-20091209-1232.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>Damien building his arsenal of snow grenades</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00185-20091209-1232.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>Note the reinforced interior base</i><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/photos/IMG00186-20091209-1233.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>Jett's major contribution to the construction</i><br />
<br />
Now to just wait for Mommie (That is how she likes to spell it. She also doesn't capitalize proper nouns... good luck getting into a good school boys.) to get home and pummel her relentlessly!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-83222609272073506522009-12-09T09:31:00.000-06:002009-12-09T09:31:46.783-06:00Snow Days & Vasectomy SurgeryWith both the schools & the daycare closed for the day due to weather, I'm sitting here truly feeling for the parents of young children who don't have the luxury of adjusting their schedule to compensate. What do you do in that scenario? Take a sick Day? That would just suck!<br />
<br />
The snow is still falling as I look out the window. I'm glad I don't have to dig myself out from the hard packed mound of street sludge plowed up at the end of my driveway. I now have even further regrets to my insane decision late last night to hand shovel the drive in the first place... what was I thinking? I've got to quick having crack for breakfast! I got about 3/4 of the way done when the stupidity of my idea came crashing thru my thick skull. There is a snow plow attachment on the tractor which my wonderful father-in-law will be taking around sometime in the early morning hours to clear both his drive & mine. Why did his daughter marry such and idiot?<br />
<br />
I'm letting the boys sleep in since when they do wake up their first question will be, "Is it a snow day?"<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/snow_day.jpg" width="267" height="372" border="0"><br />
<br />
They will realize I'm lying to them if I say "no" but don't rush to get them dressed. With winter coming the boys and I have had playful banter of how we will finally use the snow brick makers that have been sitting in the garage collecting dust the past few years to finally make a fort. We have laughed at how we will gather in our fort a stack of snowballs to perform a surprize attack on their mother when she returns from work for the day, pelting her to oblivion. I must admit that in my fantasy there was even dancing around her submissive pose as she begged for mercy.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/snowfort.jpg" width="320" height="240" border="0"><br />
<i>Not in any way near what our fort would end up looking like</i><br />
<br />
The difference between my young boys and myself is that as an adult I can better seperate fantasy from reality. Don't believe me? Ask each of us individually about Santa Clause. See, I realize that even tho we all would enjoy getting out there and starting to construct our snow fort masterpiece, it would not be long before one of the boys was tired with that and wanting to go back inside. I would most likely follow in those footsteps seeing how I don't have snow pants or snow shoes and I would be, at some early point, cold and wet expecting to be found at some future point in a block of ice by rescue dogs.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/snowrescuedogs.jpg" width="225" height="147" border="0"><br />
I'm not going to even get into the mess of coming in. I will, however, point out the fact that about the time the other child wants to come in is the exact point when my first son will want to go back out.<br />
<br />
Somewhere between dressing & undressing shivering children with wet snow gear I will be required by them to finish the fort construction and snowball stockpile myself. For the rest of the day (between meals, snacks, DVD changes, drink refills, bathroom helping & monster false alarms) they will be constantly asking me if it is about time for Mommy to get home so we can go back out in the cold to prepair for our battle, thus insuring I accoplish nothing today in the manner of real work.<br />
<br />
All that being said, and before too many people read this and decide I deserve the <b>"Worst Father of the Year"</b> award, I will point out that I will do all this for them without complaint (at least not to them) because that is what you do. Who knows... I might have a bit more fun that I anticipate (especially if I nail Mommy in the kisser with a snowball).<br />
<br />
Also, I don't want it thought that I have totally lost touch with the joys & excitement of being a child. I remember looking forward to finding out school was closed due to the snow. I used to try to dig tunnels thru the white powder & sled down the incline that lead from our back yard to an empty lot. Beyond that lot was a treeline that held many a day's adventure. I used to look forward to days when I didn't have to see the inside of my school or my teacher... maybe I would have thought differently if she looked like this:<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/hotteacher2.jpg" width="200" height="302" border="0"><br />
or this<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/hotteacher4.jpg" width="199" height="230" border="0"><br />
or this<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/hotteacher6.jpg" width="245" height="147" border="0"><br />
or even this<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/hotteacher3.jpg" width="200" height="201" border="0"><br />
but not this<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/nothotteacher.jpg" width="190" height="225" border="0"><br />
<i>Who am I kidding, I would have done her too</i><br />
<br />
I guess what I am trying to say is that like most things in life there are aspects of it that won't be fun or possibly even flat out suck, but we have to find the fun in whatever we do and focus on the positive aspects. When we make the choice to become a parent (yes, it's a choice to become a parent. Granted, it is possible for someone to have put a gun to your head for the conception part of the process; nobody put a gun to your head when it comes to your choices beyond that point... Ok, maybe if you are Catholic) we are taking on a responsibility. That responsibility means that there are times when we miss out on what <b>we</b> want to do for the sake of our child's best interest. Sometimes it means we do things we never would do otherwise.<br />
<br />
Not everyone is suited for this serious responsibility. Some people just don't want to take it on. There is nothing wrong with that and modern science has given us many options to avoid this situation. One of these option is the vasectomy.<br />
<br />
I am done having children. I was actually done before my last one, but she tricked me! (I should have know something was up when she actually had sex with me three times within a single month, but I was too busy being happy that I had a use for an erection that didn't contribute to carpel tunnel syndrome) I had a perfect white trash record going on where each of my children was by a different woman and my latest wife had to go and have a second! (The gall of her!!!) It's not like I can go back and have another with each of the other mothers... and believe me, I wouldn't want to. Hey, I do my part in the avoidance of pregnancy. I wear tight underwear. I have been asked by numerous people why I don't get a vasectomy. Below is my perfectly logic reasoning behind my decision to not get a vasectomy.<br />
<br />
It all started many years ago, long before the possible need for such surgery, as I was looking at a magazine (probably at a doctor's office... those sick bastards love to torture you like that. Where is the friggin Highlights for Kids, asshole!). There was an article on vasectomy surgery. I'm sure the article was intended to show what a great idea this was and how simple and easy the procedure is, but it actually had the reverse effect on me. I focused mainly on the photographs in the article (because reading is far too time consuming and difficult) that were taken during an actual vasectomy. They were basically step by step shots of a procedure being done. Those pictures were scary as shit!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/scaredface.jpg" width="150" height="113" border="0"><br />
<br />
Now for those of you unfamiliar with the procedure or what it entails, below is a "toned down" illustration. I didn't dare put actual photos here because I didn't want my blog to be the reason you vomited on your keyboard... ok, at least not from this post.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/vasectomyprocedure.jpg" width="350" height="263" border="0"><br />
<br />
If you would like to view actual pictures or video of a vasectomy please visit <a href="http://www.vasectomy-information.com/pictures/index.htm">vasectomy-information.com</a> you sick, sick bastard.<br />
<br />
I have a good rule here, no sharp objects <i>"south of the border"</i>. I won't even let a girl go down on me if her teeth look too pointy. The photos I saw in that magazine (again, where's the goddamded Highlights!) had stuff getting yanked out (ok, the "yanked" part is a mental add-in based on my assumption that doctors hate me) and taped down, things getting clipped & cut, blood and implied pain. After long moments of staring in dismay at the pictures I had started to wish I was into football so I would have picked up that copy of Sports Illustrated instead. It did get me thinking about the difference between the doctor doing the incision across or up and down. I mean I figure there will probably be a scar, and you know how a striped shirt can make you look taller or fatter depending on the direction of the lines....<br />
<br />
Seriously, that one article (ok, actually the photographs) were enough to keep me from ever getting a vasectomy. But just in case there was ever going to be a glimmer of a possibility that I would ever consider it, my best friend stepped in. A few years back he decided to get one done. He then decided that I should get one done as well. To further demonstrate his brilliance, he decided to call me the day after his procedure and in an effort to convince me it was a good idea... tell me about his experience step by step.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/scaredface.jpg" width="150" height="113" border="0"><br />
<br />
The first thing he tried to do was reassure me that it was simple and painless. He did this first by letting me know they gave him a "local".<br />
<b>Now, by definition of the term that would mean a needle of some sort in the general area (as he confirmed, nutsack). See "sharp object" rule above.</b><br />
<br />
He then told me how they waited a while, then started the procedure. He did mention in passing that he had to stop them because he felt it, so they gave him a little more anesthetic and... <br />
<b>Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! Hold on a moment. Let me just repeat that, "HE HAD TO STOP THEM BECAUSE HE FELT IT" Wasn't he trying to tell me how "painless" this was? What kind of sick fuck am I best friends with? there would be no more anesthetic, or procedure. My ass would be out the door by then!</b><br />
<br />
He then went on to uneventfully finish his story. He did also mention that while I was on the phone with him he was laying on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch because it was sore.<br />
<b>Again with the pain!</b><br />
<br />
I was also informed by him that he was instructed to manually discharge sperm about ten times and then come back in to get tested to make sure the procedure was effective.<br />
<b>I will admit here that although it is kind of nice to get a doctor's permission slip to spank the monkey, I would be so scared to touch for fear of damaging it or creating more pain... my best friend later confimed that it was a good idea to avoid getting an erection for a while (how do you do that? My kids are constantly watching Hi-5 and that one chick is hot) and he also told me that it hurt really bad the first few times he "discharged" (more pain, yipee!). Another point I must make is that if I went thru all this and then the final test results came back that the procedure was a failure (which is quite possible from my track record), I would be forced to stab the doctor in his scrotum with a sharp object.</b><br />
<br />
Once again, what was intended to help reassure me and guide me down the enlightened path to vasectomyville did the exact opposite. Another of my fears were somewhat justified a couple years ago when we had a tremor (we actually do live on a fault line here in Illinois). I know if I go "under the knife" (such a pleasant term, yet honest in description) there will be a major earthquake. I don't want to have to explain how an 11.3 turned my 8.5 into a 3.4!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-9949648743866393132009-12-04T20:20:00.000-06:002009-12-04T20:20:05.234-06:00Holiday Shopping<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/christmas-shopping.jpg" width="254" height="300" border="0"><br />
<br />
I'm sitting here with my boys watching <b><i>Night at the Museum: Battle for the Smithsonian</i></b>.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/nightatmuseum.jpg" width="190" height="268" border="0"><br />
The movie is cute (as was the first) and it gives you just enough information on the Smithsonian to really make me want to go there.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/smithsonian.jpg" width="160" height="120" border="0"><br />
<br />
I have never been to the capital, much less the Smithsonian. That would be a great trip. I also want to visit the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia... ok, if given the choice I would go to the Mutter first.... come on, who wouldn't want to see the exhibit of Objects Swallowed and Removed or the big colon?<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/bigcolon.jpg" width="287" height="212" border="0"><br />
I would wait in line all night to see that... and that brings me to <i>Black Friday</i><br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/blackfridaykarloff.jpg" width="377" height="293" border="0"><br />
<br />
NO! I'm talking Black Friday as in the day after Thanksgiving. The day associated with the official start of the holiday shopping season (tho I think the real start is somewhere around Halloween).<br />
<br />
Ever since I got out of the retail business I have loved going out shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I'm up in the wee hours of the morning to first hit the stores who offer their special deals online (hint, Wal-Mart), then I'm off to wait in line. One advantage I have is that I live in a smaller commuinty so I don't have to get in line till around 4am to typically be within the first ten in line (usually within the first 5). The down side is I am limited on what stores are in my area... but that's ok since I do it <b>just for fun!</b><br />
<br />
Yes, I do it simply for the fun of it! Ok, those of you cringing already had better head to the toilet because you may shit your pants when you read the next sentence... I typically have all my shopping done by Thanksgiving.<br />
<i>*Go ahead, if you didn't take my advice and now need to change your pants... the post will still be here when you get back. Unless you have a really crappy dial up connection and someone tries to call in and you don't have it set to turn off call waiting when you are online and it causes your connection to be lost. But, in that case, you not only don't deserve to read on... you also deserve to have crap in your pants*</i><br />
<br />
Seriously... I usually have pretty much everything purchased by about mid November. The Black Friday ads are typically up online (<a href="http://www.blackfriday.info">BlackFriday.info</a>) at the beginning of the month if not before, so you can plan ahead. I pick up things as I find them at a special deal (I'm not cheap... I'm frugal) starting mid to late summer. Of course there is always something one of my boys sees that doesn't come out till later in the year, but most of the time they are out by November. Actually, some of the really hot items may be unavail by Thanksgiving (tho that is not as typical as it used to be... Remeber Cabbage Patch Kids?).<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/cpkid.jpg" width="187" height="250" border="0"><br />
Ugly things, aren't they?<br />
<br />
I go out on Black Friday because I love crazy people!!! Believe me, if you want to see crazy people acting crazy then you need to go shopping when the doors open on Black Friday. Now, I don't mean the dangerous crazy like last year when the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/business/29walmart.html?_r=2">Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death.</a> I'm talking about non-lethal nutbags.<br />
<br />
I have a system that I typically follow of what store I wait in line at and then what order I go to the other stores. Since I really don't NEED anything I am in no hurry. (I have a routine I do about Black Friday shopping where I state I only go out to piss off the "real" shoppers) From time to time I break from my routine, if only to break the monotony. A few years ago I decided to go to the Wal-Mart that is open 24 hours just to see how that goes...<br />
<br />
With the 24 hour Wal-Mart they simply put out skids of merchandise and wrap it with cello wrap and at the "start time" they cut the wrap and people go for it. Instead of a long line at the front door people group up around the items they want (or at least the most important item they want, unless they are idiots... ok, I was talking Wal-Mart, right?). I entered the store about and hour before the "big event" and was given a map of the sale items and their locations in the store. At the top of the paper I was handed was an actual map of the store with locations of sale items that were numbered. At the bottom was a numbered list of the items. Now, I would think anyone with any level of education (I'm including Kindergarten) would think that a map of this sort should have some form of logical flow or system to it. For example, the items at the bottom could be listed alphabetically or the numbers at the top could start in one spot and go in some order across or around the map... I could not find any rhyme or reason to this friggin' map! Hey, I tried... really hard!!!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/confused.jpg" width="192" height="360" border="0"><br />
<br />
After tossing the map aside, I wandered the store looking for something inexpensive of interest to me that I wouldn't mind picking up for one of my boys. I came across a skid stocked full of <i>Star Wars</i> lightsabers that were in the ad for $5. How could I go wrong with that? You can never have too many lightsabers... I actually have a Mace Windu replica that I don't even let the boys look at (I've thought about displaying it in my office). I counted the lightsabers on display; there were five or six boxes each containing ten lightsabers per box. I counted the number of people standing at the display with me; there were six of us total. I did the math in my head and decided that the likelyhood everyone there was going to grab ten or more lightsabers was minimal. I didn't care what color I got, as long as there was one for me I would be happy.<br />
<br />
The clock was closing in on us and an employee came over to get ready to cut the wrap. I could sense the other shopper's ass cheeks clench from the looks in their eyes. I decided to just stand back and watch supply and demand unfold before my eyes. After what seemed like very slow last few minutes the employee started to cut. I don't believe he got as far as to cut a full inch off the wrap before the other five shoppers leapt at the skid (literally... a leap was the actual motion each of them made). There was wrap flying, arms flailing and I swear I heard grunts. In a flash it was over and the cling wrap flowed in the breeze as the other shoppers scurried to their next attack. I calmly looked to both my left and right and when I saw the coast was clear I took my time and picked a nice red lightsaber from the remaining fourty some that were left. I actually couldn't contain my chuckles as I strolled the store watching people act like they were gladiators battling vicious beasts for their very lives.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/gladiator.jpg" width="200" height="132" border="0"><br />
<br />
Why would I not want to experience this annual event? It is a joy of life that that brings us back to some of the most basic tribal urges... and it's funny as hell to watch!<br />
<br />
I prefer to do my typical waiting in line outside the store for two or so hours. It is a lot of fun to talk to the people (ok, typically myself and one or two others spends the entire time joking with and/or making fun of the others in line). I've met some really interesting folks waiting in line on Black Friday. Below I've listed a few "helpful hints" for anyone wanting to try the Black Friday shopping experience. I know, it would have been helpful to publish this before Thanksgiving... piss off! I'm doing it early for next year.<br />
<br />
1. Plan your day- Get the ads early online at <a href="http://www.blackfriday.info">BlackFriday.info</a> or a similar website and map out what you are after at each store and what order you are going to hit the stores based on what items are most important to you.<br />
<br />
2. Get there early, really early. Realize the coolest & best stuff (electronics are typically the hottest sellers) will all be gone in the first few minutes. A lot of stores even hand out "vouchers" for the hot items that are in limited supply to the first few people in line. If you are after the cheap laptop or the portable DVD player you had better be within the first ten or so people in line. In some areas that means you have to get in line in the evening (or even afternoon) of Thanksgiving day!<br />
<br />
3. Bring a fold up chair. There is no shame in sitting down! It can be a long wait. I have seen people bring blankets to sit on, but I prefer my nice folding chair.<br />
<br />
4. Dress warm. Even in the mildest of Novembers it is cold in the wee hours of the morning. I recommend two pairs of socks. FYI- you can never go wrong with a Columbia coat. I've seen girls wear skirts in line... but I've also seen girls put out for a Big Mac meal.<br />
<br />
5. Don't care. This is probably the most important thing I can say. If it really matters if you get the special deal or not you are setting yourself up for a possible emotional crash really early in your day. Yeah, we would all love to get the $2 MP3 player, but don't set your self up so that if you miss out you need therapy till next Black Friday! It just isn't worth it.<br />
<br />
I'm sure there are tons more advice I could give, but those are the basics. If you don't listen to me then you deserve to be cold and disappointed.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-76333726294797663952009-11-26T09:22:00.000-06:002009-11-26T09:22:10.450-06:00Happy Thanksgiving!<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/happyturkeyday.jpg" width="329" height="383" border="0"><br />
<br />
<b>My "world famous" turkey call:</b><br />
<object width="340" height="285"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DZ8bkwiYcZY&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DZ8bkwiYcZY&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object><br />
<br />
I will leave it at that for today... Have a safe and happy holiday!<br />
See you in line about 4am tomorrow.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-63021143169647965732009-11-23T14:42:00.000-06:002009-11-23T14:42:34.131-06:00I pledge allegiance to....<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/1892pledge.jpg" width="276" height="500" border="0"><br />
The original pledge of 1892:<br />
<b><i>I pledge allegiance to my Flag,<br />
and to the Republic for which it stands:<br />
one Nation indivisible,<br />
With Liberty and Justice for all.</i></b><br />
<br />
Please note the original version was written by a socialist Baptist minister, Francis Bellamy.<br />
<br />
In 1924 there were "concerns" that all the imigrants might get confused about which flag they were pledging allegiance to. The words "of the United States of America" were added at that time.<br />
<br />
In 1954, with the communist scare, the words "under god" were added.<br />
<br />
For a more complete history of the pledge <a href="http://oldtimeislands.org/pledge/pledge.htm">CLICK HERE</a> to visit a page written in 1992 by Dr. John W. Baer.<br />
<br />
The big controversy today is if the words "under god" should be removed. The answer to this is actually quite simple, so to make it more difficult I will answer with a question, "Was the addition of the words unconstitutional and therefore the inclusion of the words unconstitutional?"<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/constitution1.jpg" width="376" height="232" border="0"><br />
Well, let's take a look at that question...<br />
<br />
The first amendment of the constitution<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/firstammendment.jpg" width="300" height="400" border="0"><br />
<b><i>Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.</i></b><br />
<br />
"Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". The founders were quite explicit as to what this means: Equality for all means preference to none. This is where we get the separation of chuch and state from. It is not only stating freedom of religion, but a freedom from religion as well. This is what is known as the Establishment Clause.<br />
<br />
Ok, now that we have read what the constitution says we need to look at how we determine if it would then be found unconstitutional.<br />
<br />
The supreme court's test of Constitutionality under the establishment clause, per Lemon v. Kurtzman:<br />
<br />
1. The government's action must have a secular legislative purpose;<br />
2. The government's action must not have the primary effect of either advancing or inhibiting religion;<br />
3. The government's action must not result in an "excessive government entanglement" with religion.<br />
<br />
If ANY of the three points fails, the action is unconstitutional.<br />
<br />
Let's put the question at hand to the test:<br />
<br />
1. The government's action must have a secular legislative purpose: <b>FAIL</b><br />
2. The government's action must not have the primary effect of either advancing or inhibiting religion: <b> there could be an argument on if the effect was "primary", but it clearly advances a religious ideal</b><br />
3. The government's action must not result in an "excessive government entanglement" with religion: <b>an argument again could be made on the term "excessively", but it is clearly "entangled"</b><br />
<br />
There are points that could be argued on points 2 & 3, but point 1 was a clear fail.<br />
<br />
This all makes it pretty apparent that the words "under god" in the pledge is unconstitutional. Unconstitutional means they should be removed.<br />
<br />
America is a Constitutional Republic. What that means is that our government is designed to express not only the will of the majority (democracy), but also to simultaneously protect the unalienable rights of minorities and the powerless. That is an extremely important point because it is the constitutional protections of minorities and the powerless that add civility, humanity, and decency.<br />
<br />
Some people argue that if someone doesn't like the words in there they should just not say them. The problem with that is it doesn't solve the problem of it being unconstitutional. just imagine if rather than "under god" the pledge read "without god". Would the same people be complacent just not saying them?<br />
<br />
I believe I have covered that part of the issue fairly completely. After reading this post, if anyone still has a problem with the words being removed I recommend them re-reading the post. Keep re-reading the post till you either realize they should legally be removed or you tear up your voter registration card, either outcome would work.<br />
<br />
Enough with facts, let's get to my opinion on a related point... Why even say the pledge at all?<br />
<br />
I understand if you are in the military or any other government occupation it should be required of you to say, understand & uphold the pledge. I just don't believe it should be (or is) required for a common citizen.<br />
<br />
You can be a citizen of this country and hate the country as well. You may even have no allegiance to the republic. Our constitution gives us the right to speak out against our leaders, question athority and even burn the flag. This is a good thing and these are the freedoms our ancestors died to preserve. We can't pick and choose our freedoms or else we are not truly free (the good news is you have the freedom to dissagree with that statement).<br />
<br />
So, if an everyday citizen doesn't have to say the pledge... why make our children recite it in school?<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/pledge_salute.jpg" width="390" height="306" border="0"><br />
<i>Using the Bellamy salute (the original hand gesture for the pledge until Roosevelt changed it in 1942)</i><br />
<br />
One answer is that it is a government brainwashing tactic... force the little ones to recite their devotion and obedience to the country and thereby creating good little obedient sheep that don't question government's control over them.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/loveslaves.jpg" width="250" height="250" border="0"><br />
<i>The new government school uniform</i><br />
To some extent this may be true, but I don't believe that, even if it is, it would work.<br />
<br />
To little kids these are just words and they don't know or understand the meaning behind them. So the good news is they aren't subject to subliminal messages or the brainwashing effect. The bad news is, they still make them recite it. They don't understand the meaning, so why? Penn Jillette said, "We show more love learning the intellectual principles that our country is based on than memorizing a pledge." and suggested an alternative. Penn suggested that schoolchildren recite the bill of rights instead of the pledge.<br />
<br />
Let's not stop there... do you know how many people don't know at least the preamble to the constitution.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/preamble.jpg" width="316" height="398" border="0"><br />
<b><i>We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.</i></b><br />
<br />
So let us add that on as well. I say we should have the kids not only recite both the preamble to the constitution and the bill of rights every day, but they should actually learn them as well. Some will ask what is the real difference here... unlike the pledge which promotes acceptance of government control, the constitution (especialy the bill of rights) teaches us that we have the right to freedoms, to question and not obey the government. This puts the people, not the gavernment in control.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/breakingchains.jpg" width="161" height="153" border="0"><br />
There is a balance of power issue here. Maybe there government likes the focus on the issue of the words "under god" so it blinds people from the larger issue at stake here... freedom & power!<br />
<br />
The constitution & bill of rights... these are possibly the most important reading materials any citizen of this great country will ever read. If we don't study them, learn them, value them and fight for their preservation we will see them stripped away from us. Some would say this has already been happening, bit by bit & law by law.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-9449223574538753562009-11-17T22:10:00.002-06:002009-11-17T22:14:33.613-06:00UP & Star TrekI rented two movies today and have to say I would recommend seeing both. One is a definate "buy it"! The first I will speak of is the <b>UP</b><br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/UpMoviePoster.jpg" height="481" width="325" border="0"><br />
<br />
You pretty much know if it says Pixar it is going to be exceptional. The just keep coming up with great storylines that are so touching, even to someone as sarcastic & callas as myself, that you can’t help but get enthralled with it.<br />
<br />
This movie was so sweet and sad that I watched it a second time today so Tricia could see it. Not really knowing anything on the story of this movie in advance due to an exceptional job of the studio not giving away hardly any information thru the trailers. I get sick when I see a movie trailer and then know the whole story, or they give away key elements or plot twists… Quit that! I'm not going to go into any more details on this movie, just see it.<br />
<br />
Skip rental on this one and just go ahead and buy it, especially if you have kids or grandkids.<br />
<br />
The second movie was the new <b>Star Trek</b> flick.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/startrekmovieposter.jpg" height="400" width="271" border="0"><br />
I must first say that I am not a big Star Trek fan, I’m not really even a small Start Trek fan. (As I’m typing this Return of the Jedi is playing on my plasma screen) I hated the original TV series (other than for a joke) & the first movie sucked (pretty much because it was like a big screen version of the TV series). As the movies progressed they got better and better, partially due to better storyline and mostly due to larger budget and much better special effects. The Next Generation TV show I actually enjoyed (great visuals for a TV show!). The problem I had when that storyline moved to the big screen was the same issue as the first movie… it was like paying money to go to the theatre to see the exact same thing I was watching on TV for free! That is when I started to lose interest in that series. I saw a few episodes of Deep Space Nine and it wasn’t bad, but I never really got into any of the other series.<br />
<br />
I watched this new version of Star Trek and was very impressed. The movie had a great story line and good flow. The special features quickly pointed out that they “broke the rules” and looked at the Star Wars movies because they wanted that type of pace to this film. (Yes, I’m still grinning at that one… go ahead, try to wipe the smile off my face)<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/whowouldwin.jpg" height="180" width="240" border="0"><br />
Anyway, it really worked and they made the best Star Trek ever! I mean it, better than any big or small screen version/episode I have seen. I liked how they got around the pesky difficulties Lucas had to deal with when making his prequels… Don’t want to have to worry about pissing off some fan because your new movie doesn’t match all the other films, books, lore and whatever other fake reality (remember, this is FICTION people) someone has dreamed up for it? Create an event that alters the course of time and the future! Hey, if they can do a mind meld they can do that.<br />
<br />
Another enjoyable feature of the film was the great choice of cast to play each role. They did an outstanding job with the characters fitting the original cast that hit it’s summit at the end of the film (very rare) with a perfect Bill Schatner entry, walk, talk & attitude.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/kirkposter.jpg" height="255" width="310" border="0"><br />
The role of Spok was played well and the relationship build between he and Kirk was entertaining.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/startrektension.jpg" height="254" width="320" border="0"><br />
It was enjoyable to still be able to go, “The one in red is not going to make it”<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/expendability.jpg" height="249" width="316" border="0"><br />
and hear the famous lines that you just grow accustom to hearing in a Star Trek flick. I think there was enough in this film to please both the die hard Trekkie as well as the non fans. Seriously, everyone should see this… If nothing else, it’s just a great action movie.<br />
<br />
Plus, this film made green chicks hot again!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/startrekgreenchick.jpg" height="191" width="400" border="0"><br />
If you are a Star Trek fan you may want to add this to your collection, otherwise I would suggest renting it.<br />
<br />
Enough of that… back to watching Star Wars.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-33212411650541742042009-11-11T14:44:00.001-06:002009-11-11T14:45:21.181-06:00Veteran's DayI want to first take a moment to say thank you to all my fellow veterans and current service men & women out there! No matter what branch of the military (and this is one of the few times I will do this, normally I will throw in some branch specific humor here) you serve or used to serve under. I want to take the opportunity of this day to make sure you know that I appreciate all you do and have done every day of the year!!! Note- every time anyone wakes up in this great country of ours they are able to do so in part due to you, whether they want to recognize or appreciate that fact or not.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/veteransday.jpg" width="80%" height="80%" border="2"><br />
<br />
Speaking of appreciating our men & women in uniform:<br />
I saw this Associated Press article picked up on the CBS website (what was I doing there?) today and had to share it...<br />
<hr><i><b>(AP) MILWAUKEE (AP) -</b> A Milwaukee Army reservist's military identification earned him some street cred Tuesday, when he says four men who mugged him at gunpoint returned his belongings and thanked him for his service after finding the ID.<br />
<br />
The 21-year-old University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee student said he was walking home from work about 1:15 a.m. Tuesday when he was pulled into an alley and told to lay face down and with a gun to his neck. Four men took his wallet, $16, keys, his cell phone and even a PowerBar wrapper from his pants pockets, he said.<br />
<br />
But the hostile tone quickly changed when one of the robbers, whom the reservist presumed was the leader, saw an Army ID in the wallet. The robber told the others to return the items and they put most of his belongings on the ground next to him, including the wrapper, the reservist said.<br />
<br />
"The guy continued to say throughout the situation that he respects what I do and at one point he actually thanked me and he actually apologized," said the reservist, who asked not to be identified Tuesday because the robbers still had his keys.<br />
<br />
The reservist said he asked the men, who all had hoods or hats covering their faces, if he could get up and they said he could before starting to walk away.<br />
<br />
"The leader of the group actually walked back, gave me a quick fist bump, which was very strange," he said.<br />
</i><br />
<hr>Talk about a military discount!<br />
<br />
Now, I could go into how this was a very bad business decision on the gang members part, or how they obviously were not stealing out of necessity if they could so easily give the items and cash back. No, I want to discuss the more important and obvious issue here... What the flying rat fuck were they going to do with a PowerBar wrapper!?!?<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/powerbar.jpg" border="0" width="50%" height="50%"><br />
For that matter what was the reservist going to do with it? I would think something since he actually had it on him at the time of the robbery.<br />
<br />
I'm trying to envision a scenario where it would seem logical to have a PowerBar wrapper on your person, or most any wrapper for that matter. I mean, this guy didn't just find a golden ticket to grant him access to Wonka's fantasy chocolate factory & a lifetime supply of candy treats. Did he sneak the PowerBar as a worktime snack at his place of employ, obviously void of any trash recepticles, slipping the evidence of his fireable offense into his pants to avoid yet another trip to the human resources office? Is he working on wallpapering his apartment with wrappers to then video himself electric shocking his genetalia while eating a PowerBar in hopes of a prize winning submission on Break.com? Maybe his pockets were filled with different wrappers and the PowerBar wrapper just happened to be the one that was stolen... and if so why would they take the PowerBar wrapper over let's say a KitKat wrapper or a Fast Break wrapper? How many wrappers could he have had on him... 50... 100? What kind of wrapper whores are we letting into our military? I think this is a much larger concern than sexual orientation.<br />
<br />
So, what is the going rate on the black market for a PowerBar wrapper anyway? How much drugs would the muggers get in trade for it? Am I missing something here? Maybe the wrapper tastes better than the actual PowerBar itself (that wouldn't take much. I had a pizza a few years ago that would have tasted better if I had ate the box and thrown out the actual pie). I think I may have an aneurism trying to figure this out.<br />
<br />
<hr><hr><br />
Speaking of holidays, filmaker M. Moore is trying to get his latest movie out for release by December 25th. "Black Christmas" will be bashing Santa due to his discriminatory policy of leaving gifts for the nice boys & girls while leaving coal for the naughty. He shows how this is really a ploy by the oil companies and all those other evil people who work for a living and support the country and the U.S. economy.<br />
<br />
I bet Moore could take "It's a Wonderful Life" and re-edit it so Mr. Potter was <i>good big government</i> and George Bailey was an <i>evil freethinking personal property rights lobbyist</i> and in the end the country was ruined due to George with the help of his <i>corrupt right wing religious associate</i> who was obviously more concerned with getting his own wings than anyone or anything else... Hell, I could re-edit it to do that. People need to realize that documentaries and other movies are presented, many times, with an agenda and what they portray are totaly subject to what the filmaker wants them to portray which is not always the truth & certainly hardly ever the whole truth.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-81750967995644776882009-10-31T09:54:00.000-05:002009-10-31T09:54:07.934-05:00Halloween, Alcohol & Pumpkin Carving<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/halloween.jpg" border="0" width="319" height="215"><br />
Halloween reminds me of a time a few years back when I had an employee whose wife came in the day after the holiday to inform me of why he wasn't going to be able to make it in. Apparently he GOT ARRESTED FOR DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE WHILE TAKING HIS CHILDREN TRICK-OR-TREATING!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/drunk.jpg" border="0" width="160" height="120"><br />
What astounded me even more than the fact of his incarceration was the apparent lack of appology for his condition by his spouse. "He had ONLY just opened his second fourty ouncer." She informed me, somehow thinking I would then bow to the logic than at least somewhere under 80 ounces of malt liquor in such a short time span is perfectly acceptable when driving your young children around on a night where the streets are strewn with scampering lads & lasses, with often times dark clothing and mask impaired vision, unaware of the perils in store for them at the hands of an impaired driver.<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/costumedkids.jpg" border="0" width="285" height="199"><br />
It amazes me at times the pure selfish stupidity of people. I am all for scientific advancement in every field, but I do see why not all animals make it to spawn thru the process of natural selection. Not only did I fear for the helpless children crossing the street, or even on the sidewalk in this case, but I also had deep concerns for his own children. Exposing them not only to his stupidity and lack of judgement but to the obvious ignorance of why this is wrong on their mother's end.<br />
<br />
I'm sure they did not explain to their children how the police were there to help and doing the right thing. Much less would I imagine these kids were told that Daddy made a mistake and is learning a good lesson. No, I'm sure our role models here made claims of faulty systems and wrongful prosecusion corrupting these impressionable minds with visions of fault in both our legal system (not to say there isn't faults) & the people they should be looking up to and going to if they actually need help someday.<br />
<br />
I know a lot of people who go out and party on Halloween... there is nothing wrong with that, but do it AFTER you have taken the kids out for their fun for the night. (that is if you have children, obviously) Remember, when you decided to have a child you took on a responsibility that for ever more in your future dictates that you put your child's needs before your own. (ok, after they are a grown adult capable of taking care of themselves you do need to cut the apron strings, but I hope you get my point here)<br />
<br />
Also, if you do decide to party simply be responsible about it. I believe the vast majority of people realize this holiday is all about the kids, they are everywhere darting about to and from every direction, and take extra precautions to ensure the safety of not only their own family, but everyone. The only person of whom it is acceptable to have a different viewpoint this holiday is Michael Meyers<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/mmeyers.jpg" border="0" width="150" height="188"><br />
<hr>On the lighter side of things I was looking at some really cool pumpkin carvings and came across this<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/deathstar1.jpg" border="0" width="300" height="278"><br />
Nothing like a little fanatical Lucas worship to turn a common fruit into an art masterpiece!<br />
<br />
There is a reason we only carve pumpkins once a year. It gives us about 11 months to forget how much work it is and how bad it sucks. About halfway thru scooping the friggin' thing you look at your pumpkin gut covered hand, arm, shirt & floor you think to yourself, "Why didn't I just jump on that psycho Pat Robertson's bandwagon of devils living in the candy and call the whole thing off?"<br />
<br />
For the record, if you believe that the candy sold at Halloween time has been cursed with evil then you are sad, stupid, superstitious and should give me all your candy. (I'm especially fond of Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups) I am happy to take on the responsibility of allowing the demons to enter me thru some tasty treats so you don't have to suffer.<br />
<br />
Once you have disemboweled the smelly thing you then can either use the traditional method of big knife & hope it at least even comes somewhere near looking like a face or the more modern template punching and scrape method. I really don't care what method you chose, I'm just happy if I walk away with the same number of fingers I started with. (which is why you should never carve pumkins in the nude. Trust me, it's better to lose a finger)<br />
<br />
Happy Halloween!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/scarypumpkin.jpg" border="0" width="225" height="169">Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-1926190944282359022009-10-30T21:14:00.001-05:002009-10-30T21:14:53.966-05:00Sony & Star WarsCheck this out, pretty cool huh?<br />
<object width="400" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lAS55_RngoQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lAS55_RngoQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="252"></embed></object><br />
We are getting one step closer to playing chess with a Chewbacca!<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/chewbaccachess.jpg" border="2"><br />
Remember, let the Wookie win.<br />
<br />
You know this means Lucas will have to do a new special edition so I can once again pay too much money to re-purchase what I've already boughten... and I will wait in line, smile on my face in eager anticipation when I do it! But I won't be wearing a cool homemade Boba Fett outfit... I'm not THAT cool.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-69848586457650433412009-10-30T20:23:00.000-05:002009-10-30T20:23:52.619-05:00Death & Wal-MartI got this following article from <a href="http://www.weirduniverse.net">WeirdUniverse.net</a>:<br />
<br />
"<b>Walmart Really Does Have Everything</b><br />
Walmart has started carrying caskets online. This in response to Costco offering caskets on their website. Walmart has a selection of 14 caskets as well as a variety of urns for the cremated. Pat Lynch, of the National Funeral Home Director's Association, isn't worried. He says that online retailers don't offer one important thing funeral homes do, the comfort of human contact at a difficult time. I don't know, I think I could call a friend for human contact after saving a couple hundred dollars online. Still, it does have the creepy factor, shopping for a casket at Walmart's website."<br />
<br />
I totally understand Wal-Mart selling caskets, I typically want to kill myslef when I go there. I wonder if they have the Sam Walton Special Edition? (go ahead and say it, I really don't care)<br />
<br />
I also agree with Mr. Lynch (thank goodness the author of this article referred to him as "he" or else I would be at a loss there... who names their kids Pat anyway? If your name is Pat you should pick up the phone right now, call your parents & tell them to suck it. If they are deceased then go online and pick out a probably poorly made, typical of Wal-Mart items, casket for them)<br />
<img src="http://www.johnvorhees.com/lwgblog/images/casket.jpg" border="0" width="39%" height="72%"><br />
when he said it is missing the personal touch (with this type of purchase that is an important factor, unless you never liked the bitch anyway). With that in mind Wal-Mart should sell them in store too... you will get that same online experience of both feeling impersonal as well as catching a virus.<br />
<br />
I think Wal-Mart is doing this just to ensure their customer's online shopping experience is as creepy as their in store experience.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7466813199459092814.post-536048952497017432009-10-27T21:48:00.001-05:002009-10-27T21:48:24.685-05:00Old people stealMaybe Chick McGee is right: Ella Orko, 86, was arrested in Chicago in August (her 61st arrest) and charged with shoplifting $252 worth of groceries and sundries (including anti-wrinkle cream). [Chicago Tribune-AP, 8-3-09]<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01407735310160696787noreply@blogger.com0